Monthly Archives:

November 2013

Featured, Orgasms, Sex Ed, Your Body

Road Tested: Best Positions For Oral Sex

This post contains affiliate links.

Oral sex is sublimely intimate and erotic, and it can also be one of the sure-fire ways to bring a woman to orgasm. Want to mix things up a little?

While the 69er is notoriously difficult to come through, and other oral positions look as though they can only be achieved by yogic masters, contortionists and carnival folk, there are some fantastic alternative positions for great oral designed to get you on the fast track to Pleasure Town.

Here are our Top 5 positions for oral sex that will leave you satisfyingly breathless.

Cliffhanger

Cliff Hanger Oral Sex Position - Polkadotsi.com

If you’re a fan of the classic you-on-your-back oral experience, and you’re greedy for C-spot stimulation, the Cliffhanger offers a great twist. Sit on the edge of your bed and lay back, leaving your legs to drape over the edge with your partner nestled between them on the floor. Kneeling from this position, your lover will have fantastic access to your clit without fear of neck cramps. Draping your legs over his or her shoulders will offer deeper access, and a more erotic experience.

One of the simplest positions for both partners, the Cliffhanger is ideal for both quickies, and long, languid affairs.

 

Legs Up

legs up oral sex position - Polkadotsi.com

Another variation on the basic muff dive, during the Legs Up you to lay on your back and bring your legs up and over your lover’s shoulders, presenting your pussy to them for super-easy access. You may need to arch your back or use a pillow or two for support, but the feeling of being almost upside down while being pleasured will offer a new range of whole-body sensations.

Your partner should be able to reach your ankles to help steady your balance in the Legs Up – and in return, you should be able to reach their hot zone as they kneel or sit to double your fun.

Lady Godiva

Lady Godiva Oral Sex Position - Polkadotsi.com

Named in honor of the legendary noblewoman who rode her horse naked through the streets as a form of protest, the Lady Godiva is reminiscent of that act… although you’ll be riding your lover’s face instead of a horse. And it’s unlikely there’ll be any protesting going on.

To achieve this classic, make sure your partner’s head and neck are comfortably supported and then kneel over them, straddling their face. Naughty and nice, the Lady Godiva is best enjoyed when both of you are comfortable enough to create a slight riding motion for extra friction and sensation.

Laid Back Loving

laid back loving oral sex position - Polkadotsi.com

Similar to the above face-sitting favorite, Laid Back Loving offers a more relaxed positioning for you, the recipient, and greater opportunities for touch and fondling for your partner. Have your lover lay back with a couple of pillows for added neck support, and then climb aboard facing them with your legs on either side of their body. Slowly slide your body down theirs until your head is resting against their bent knees, and your sweet spots are in easy reach of your lover’s mouth.

Perfect for sensual, leisurely lovemaking, Laid Back Loving is ideal for ladies who need to be in a complete state of relaxation to reach the big O.

Forbidden Fruit

forbidden fruit oral sex position - Polkadotsi.com

Considered one of the more risqué and intimate positions for oral sex, Forbidden Fruit will leave you exposed in more ways than one. This position offers plenty of erotic possibilities for clitoral stimulation and penetration – as well anal play, if you and your partner are so inclined.

Easy to master, Forbidden Fruit requires you get yourself comfortable on all fours, assuming a doggy-style position, giving your lover full access from behind. Try this position in bed, altering your hip placement and back arch by placing your upper body weight on your palms with locked elbows, or by resting your upper body down closer to the bed, resting on your elbows.

The naughtiness and complete surrender of Forbidden Fruit makes it that much more exciting.

Did we miss one? Have a hot tip you’d like us to share? Let us know in the comments below.

 

Bright Desires

 

Featured image credit:© Sandor Kacso – Fotolia.com

 

 

Body Positive Activism, Education

A Newbie’s Guide To Female-Friendly Porn

Bright Desires

Porn isn’t all dirty moustaches and gangbangs, you know. In fact, a growing sector of the porn industry is focusing on female-friendly and feminist porn, created by women, for women.

Porn has different connotations, depending on your experiences of it. Some people love it, some people hate it, and some people find it uninspired, but still use it to help them get off on occasion.

Mainstream Versus Female-Friendly

Generally speaking, mainstream porn is geared towards a male audience – probably because most producers expect this is their target customer. The times are a-changing though, and, particularly with porn now being so instantly available online, more and more women are acknowledging their porno proclivities.

This introduces a conflict for some women: particularly those who enjoy watching porn, but feel mainstream porn’s stereotypical focus on male pleasure and dominance – and concerns about the situations in which porn is produced – is at odds with their beliefs about sex and gender equality.

As a result, there are an increasing number of websites, magazines and films dedicated to feminist and female-friendly porn… although, despite its somewhat cheesy categorization, the majority of it isn’t all candle lighting, rose petals, smooth jazz and lots of face-stroking (phew!).

What Exactly Is Feminist Or Female-Friendly Porn?

In a recent Q&A with Cosmo, feminist pornographer and sex educator Tristan Taormino offers a great definition:

Feminist pornographers are committed to gender equality and social justice. Feminist porn is ethically produced porn, which means that performers are paid a fair wage and they are treated with care and respect; their consent, safety, and well-being are critical, and what they bring to the production is valued. Feminist porn explores ideas about desire, beauty, pleasure, and power through alternative representations, aesthetics, and filmmaking styles. Feminist porn seeks to empower the performers who make it and the people who watch it.

5 Reasons To Check Out Female-Friendly Porn

  • You can explore your sexuality through a medium that doesn’t conflict with your ethics
  • You can indulge your fantasies in a safe environment, without having to act on them in real life
  • You’ll see real bodies, real sex, real orgasms rather than the fake tan/breasts/climaxes generally associated with mainstream porn
  • You might learn a thing or two. And unlike most mainstream, bang-and-flip-bang-and-flip porn, the things you learn are likely to actually focus on your pleasure.
  • You may discover a more stimulating and erotic pornography experience, with more interesting characters and plotlines, and less awkward and cheesy transitions such as, ‘hi, I have the pizza you ordered’ to ‘let us fuck’.

Want To Know More?

Check out this list of feminist porn directors, and read this post by formerly porn-opposed writer Libby Rumelt, I Did It for Science: Female-Friendly Porn. She details an experiment in which she explores the ‘female friendly’ category of a well-known porn site, and explores her feelings about the scenes she watched, her body’s response, and how those two things didn’t always align the way she had expected.

instructedpromo640x360

Education, Featured, Fertility, Pregnancy & Birth

A Dozen Things We Should Have Learned In Sex Ed (but didn’t)

I have to be honest and admit I don’t remember all that much about sex education from high school. I don’t think we took it very seriously. Actually, I think many of us were intrigued, but were trying to play it cool in front of everyone else in the class. And, of course, it was awkward having a delightful, but very square, male teacher point out the clitoris on a diagram than didn’t much resemble the wonderland in my own knickers.

Mostly, sex ed was about mechanics, seeing a condom being pulled over a banana and watching a tampon expand in a jar of water, and zealous proclamations about the dangers of herpes and teen pregnancy. There was a little about wet dreams and masturbation being normal and natural, to Mr S’s credit. But overall, I can safely say that the hours spent in sex ed did little to prepare me for my own sexual adventures.

Here are a few things I think we should have learned.

There’s more to sex than mechanics and biology. You can look at all the x-ray-esque diagrams in the world and talk about STIs and pregnancy until you’re blue in the balls face, but when comes to actually doing the deed, those diagrams and slightly scary sperm cartoons really aren’t going to prove all that helpful.

The emotional and psychological aspects of the sexual experience are just as important as the, ahem, ins and outs. People screw for a huge range of reasons – most of which have nothing to do with biology. For pleasure, for love, for lust, for revenge. Out of boredom, pity or curiosity. To feel better, to feel validated, to feel connected. Just for funzies. And that’s okay.

Sex should be pleasurable. I’m not sure why this get’s glossed over, because it’s such an important lesson. In fact – it’s probably one of the most important you can learn. You should discover and understand what brings you pleasure. And you shouldn’t be afraid to ask for what you want when you’re playing with a partner.

Most porn is not a reliable indicator of what sex will be like. You probably won’t shatter into the sweet agony of orgasm the moment your partner touches you.

Sexual orientation is a spectrum, which you’re likely to slide up and down throughout your lifetime. You don’t have to categorize yourself. It’s all natural and wonderful.

Virginity is not just about penis/vagina sex, although most discussions about sex allude to just that. Virginity is really just a social construct. Yes, girls have a hymen and sometimes it’s broken the first time they have penetrative intercourse. But if you’re a girl having sex with girls, your sexual experience is just as valid as anyone else’s. Sex looks like a lot of different things to different people.

Enjoying and wanting lots of sex does not make you a slut or morally loose. You can choose to experiment with numerous partners, or have ravenous sexual marathons with just one. Neither makes you a bad person, stupid or skanky.

Not wanting to have sex doesn’t make you frigid, or abnormal. Even though it might feel as though everyone else is having way more sex than you are. Everyone’s drive is different, and there are lots of factors that can affect your desire – from hormones and stress to sexual and emotional chemistry.

To further drive home the above two points – sex is not a reflection of your worth as a person. Having sex shouldn’t be seen as a badge of honor or shame.

Practice makes perfect. Just because you have one ho-hum sexual encounter doesn’t mean you’re forever doomed to be bad in bed. Sex is like any experience – the more you do it and figure it out, the better you’ll get. Very few people get it right the first time. Try, try and try again.

Don’t take it too seriously. Yes, sex is serious business and it’s vitally important to protect yourself – but you should be able to laugh and have fun; otherwise, what’s the point?

Sex isn’t all rainbows and yogic contortionism and orgasms. Sometimes sex is messy and gross and embarrassing. Sometimes there might be strange noises, painful legs cramps, unexpected visits from Aunt Flow, and awkward post-coital cleanups. Whatever. You can’t bake a cake without cracking a few eggs, right?

What do you wish you learned in Sex Ed?

Product Reviews, Sex Toys 101

5 Weird Sex Toys That Made Me LOL This Week

So, let me pre-empt this post by saying first and foremost that I most definitely do not judge your sexual preferences or kinks or fetishes, or anyone else’s for that matter. We’re all wired differently, and we should all be free to get our kicks via any (legal, consenting) means that tickles our fancy, so to speak.

That being said, I’m a firm believer that it’s important to have a healthy sense of humour when it comes to sex. Because if you take that out of the equation, it’s all way too serious. Obviously, when you’re required to research sex and sexuality and sexcapades as often as I am (for writing and, you know… because you’re Googling something for a friend) you’re bound to come across some rip-snorters in the weird and wonderful world of www.

Inflatable Hot Seat

Now, I always wanted a Moonhopper as a kid, but I never owned one. I think by the time the next Christmas or birthday had rolled around the craze was over, but I always kind of lamented having not jumped on this toy bandwagon. Imagine my shock/ delight/ horror when I came across this Inflatable Hot Seat – complete with erect, “jelly multi-speed dong” for your pleasure. I have so many questions. I mean, it says it holds up to 300lbs… but does that take into account vigorous bouncing? And the clear potential for backyard races riding this thing? I’ll never be able to look at a Moonhopper the same way again…

Flexi Felix

Nothing against anal play, but I couldn’t get past this little dude’s appearance. It’s like he’s a cross between a very skinny caterpillar with a frog-face, and some extra-terrestrial come to probe us all. He’s too cute to put up your butt, right?

Exotic Butterfly Clitoral Pump

Remember when Austin Powers revealed his fondness for his penis pump, and we all laughed and laughed? Well, it turns out penis pumps and pussy pumps are still a thing. Which is cool, I get it, I can see the appeal. But what I do not understand is the totally unappealing, borderline scary shapes and features of some of these pumps, designed to ‘heighten arousal’ in our most intimate areas. Take this model for example. Are you supposed to comb your hair with it, or fuck it? Either way, it’s not getting anywhere near my knickers.

Honey Bunny Latex Hood

This latex bunny mask is completely different to the rabbit featured on Sex and the City, and a far cry from the bunnies of the Playboy Mansion. This is the stuff of my nightmares, thankyouverymuch.

Self-Powered Fucking Machine

You’re probably familiar with the concept of fucking machines. There are entire porn sites dedicated to them, and if you haven’t stumbled across those the concept is pretty self-explanatory. Essentially, people all over the world spend hours – months, even – constructing the most elaborate pieces of machinery for the sole purpose of sex play. This self-powered ‘fantasy glide’ machine is like that… except not. Actually, it’s probably best summed up as being built like a pogo stick, with a detachable dildo where the foot rest would usually be. I’m sure the creators would argue there’s a lot more to it, but I’m not seeing it. It looks like awkward hard work to me… with the potential for some serious injury should you miss a stroke.

What’s the weirdest sex toy you’ve seen, in the flesh or online? Share it here, or via Facebook or Twitter.

Education, Featured

Cats On A Hot Tin Roof

Is the Cougar on the rise or are all of us just cats on a hot tin roof, getting our tails and paws burnt? Is this relationship that has come about between women and our feline fur friends ‘good for strokes’ or has it reached the end of its nine lives?

“…flirting, falling and yawning everywhere

Like women who want no contract

But going their own way

Make the way of their lovers lighter”

(Louis Macniece (1907-1963))

Meeeooowww

In the observations of the Irish poet, Macniece, the age-old cultural and literary tradition that equates feline characteristics and qualities to that of women is clearly demonstrated. The Aristotelian puss is once again scratching her claws, that most lecherous and flirtatious of beasts, that actively wheedles and wiles the male counterpart into the act of sexual congress.

Bad Kitty   

In Western traditions the cat was the anti-thesis of all good, associated with witches, maleficence(oh, the irony of that spelling) and bad luck. The cat/women were inextricably linked in a familial/r relationship and were dealt with, with torture and flames, to teach them to conform, to be good, and to put their claws and cleverness away. And they were burnt in their droves.

No more witchcraft, or earth wisdom, natural medicine and midwifery.

The Cat Once Had The Cream

Whilst once Bastet, the bare breasted, lion-headed goddess once roared with all the feminine energies, bestowing virility, nurturing and children, now she must retreat to lick her paws. Her raunchy, wild festivals came to an end. This misogynist denigration of women’s ‘cleverness’ and sexuality continues today, not just in the sneering attitude that prevails around women’s art, intuition and role in birth, but in the presentation of the older, sexually active or seeking woman.

Rise Of The Cougar

In more recent history, a dangerous ‘in-between’ space has began to emerge between the two cultural archetypes of the mother and the crone. A space that can be occupied by the ‘older woman’, deemed sexually rapacious and unconfined within the roles of the caregiver and one to whom care is given. That naughty minx – the cougar –  just slinked her way out from the hearth and is looking for a nice, cozy bed. The emergence of this beast is not surprising. Women are living for longer, are more financially independent and slowly their sexual needs throughout their whole life cycle are being recognized.

Be Careful – This Pussy Bites!

Yet, the patriarchal mistrust of the feminine pussy remains: the fear of the vagina dentata, the pussy that bites. The cougar is neutered by societal portrayals of this particular cat, in that the role is simultaneously glamorised and mocked. This ensures that her ‘tail’ remains firmly trapped…Indeed, there is no more powerful method of ‘reining in’ than making a social group foolish, and therefore, easily dismissible. Is this backlash due to Freudian fears of what some may perceive as incestuous, Oepidal-like mother-son/daughter relationships or the threat of non-fertile/non procreative sex? Or is society uncomfortable with a women acted out of her ‘expected’ role, in which she slows down, becomes sexually neutral and nurtures the extended family in her decline?

The Cat Has Kittens

It also seems interesting that popular culture is extending the definition of the ‘cougar’ (40-49years), to the ‘cheetah’ (woman in her 30’s dating someone in their 20’s), the ‘puma’ (30-39years), and the ‘Sabre tooth ’or‘ Jaguar’ (50years+). The cats seem to be getting their cream…but are they?  Does it take away the rationality of being human, as in dehumanize and make irrational to categorize sexually active women as big cats? Or does it present them as a threat? Or does it all become tongue-in-cheek, making women and their sexuality a caricature?

I shall go off to lick my paws and leave it with you.

Education, Fertility, Pregnancy & Birth, Your Body

Sex After Childbirth: The Good, The Great, The Horrifying

Congratulations Mama, you birthed you a baby!

Having a baby changes everything. You grow  for 9 months, then you push a 30cm (or more!!) head out of an opening that previously had only accommodated a couple of inches. It isn’t surprising that childbirth can change your sex life.

First Thing’s First

Focus on your healing. Having a baby is a massive, massive, body changing event. Rest as much as you can, go gently on yourself, and focus on healing your body. There are a great number of resources for post partum mothers including doula services, healing services, books, and DVDs – the message in all of them is VERY clear: Don’t be a super mom. Rest, heal, give yourself time. Did we mention REST?

How Soon Can You Have Sex After Childbirth

Most health professionals don’t recommend having sex until 6 weeks after birth. This is to give your cervix a chance to close, your lochia (bleed) to stop, and your body to start recovering. Realistically, your body isn’t going to fully recover for another 12 months (Although, anecdotally WE think that number is closer to three years!!) Anyway, what we’re saying is, if you feel amorous, go for it. If you’re not in the mood, give yourself time.

Finding Time

Having a child gives a new meaning to coitus interuptus… You and your partner may need to get creative with the nook nook wiggy wiggy, and have sex in more creative places. We always say to our childless friends that if they’re only having sex in the bedroom on Saturday mornings, they’re missing out!!

Increased Libido

Due to hormonal changes after birth, you may experience an increased sex drive. This can also be stimulated by hormones from breast feeding. Good news is it’s normal. Just be sure to wait until your lochia (bleed after birth) has stopped, as your cervix needs to close up again, to minimize infection risk.

A tip from a midwife, post birth – for at least the first 6 weeks, do as LITTLE AS POSSIBLE… and your bleed will stop faster, you’ll heal more effectively, and you’ll be able to spend  that time bonding with your new baby!

Decreased Libido

You may experience the opposite, also due to those lovely hormones (and sleep deprivation, and overwhelm, and well….. you have a new baby!!) Give it time. Go gently on yourself, and take the time to focus on intimacy in your relationship, rather than sex. Massage, touch, cuddles, and just loving on each other can be blissful very healing post-natally.

Woman, you just had a baby, if there isn’t someone in your life treating you like a Goddess, hire a post natal doula to help out.

Pain And Tenderness

If you had a caesarean (C-section) or an instrumental birth, you’re likely to experience some level of discomfort.

Give your scars time to heal. Speak to your care provider if you think your scar is causing more discomfort than it should – pain isn’t normal, and it can be addressed.

Episiotomy scars can be helped with physiotherapy and ultrasound. If you’re experiencing discomfort, it’s a great idea to speak to your GP and book an appointment with a women’s physiotherapist. They’ll test your pelvic floor strength and help you rebuild your muscles, as well as decrease episiotomy/tearing scarring.

Sex after episiotomy is usually OK – go slowly, gently use lots of lube – and NO, it’s NOT meant to hurt!! If it’s hurting, there is more healing to be done, and you need more time.

Vaginal Dryness

Vaginal dryness is those lovely hormones again. The obvious answer is a good quality, healthy lube. (www.goodcleanlove.com) sells some awesome vagina friendly lubes.

In a pinch, you can use plain coconut oil. Don’t choose lubes filled with petrochemicals – they’ll dry you out more. Avoid lubes with fruit compounds, they’ll irritate vaginal yeast, resulting in a lovely case of  thrush.

Absolute Sheer Exhaustion

Your body just performed a miracle. A MIRACLE you hear me?! And now that the pregnancy discomforts have hopefully subsided, nature has another challenge  for you – and that is  recovering  from said miracle production, on VERY LITTLE SLEEP.

This is why we tell you to take those first 6 weeks off (But, I’m betting you  didn’t like most Western Women). Rest when you can, communicate with your partner, and remember eventually that baby is going to not be a baby any more. The exhaustion DOES pass, and it DOES get easier.

If you’re struggling more than you think you should be – get help. Get Support. There are several charities, organizations, and networks available for post natal moms to turn to for house help, counseling, and general kid-wrangling assistance.

Vaginal Muscular Changes & Bladder Incontinency

You just pushed a big head out of your vagina… there are going to be muscular changes (read, your vagina is going to be looser) The good news is, muscle can be toned. As your body heals, kick it with your kegels and rebuild your pelvic floor.

On the note of pelvic floor and helping your body heal, belly binding or a corset-type brace can be useful in helping bring all of those abdominal muscles back together.

Vaginal Flora Changes

Hormones, bacteria, and general bodily changes can bring about vaginal flora changes. While thrush is the last thing you want to be worrying about post birth, it is a reality that many women face.

Topically, you could consider a treatment as recommended by your GP or pharmacist.

Systemically – invest in your gut health with a good pro-biotic and immune boosting foods.

Hemorrhoids

Pushing out a baby also means that some women push out the blood vessels in their anus. Lovely isn’t it 🙂

Poo gently, keep up your fibre, drink lots of water, use sitz baths, and an ice pack if it helps. Don’t engage in anal sex until you’re well and truly healed (We didn’t have to tell you that though right?

The New Normal

Now  that your body and life have been turned upside down, I suppose we should end this article by reassuring you that everything will go back to normal. Sorry, it won’t. It might get better, but at the very least, it’ll be different. Of COURSE it’ll be different, but different doesn’t mean bad 🙂

You have a post natal body, and frankly, that’s AWESOME. Your vaginal walls are thinner, meaning you might have more sensitivity. There’s a perk! You are a goddess, honour yourself, and give yourself time to re-build and heal.

 

Do you have post natal sex tips? Share them with us!!

Education, Featured, Sex Toys 101

Solid Stone To Rubber Rabbits: An Evolution Of Sex Toys

Sex toys are so mainstream nowadays, we often take their technological delights and convenience for granted. Things weren’t always so simple though, so let’s spare a thought for the women and their lovers who came (see what I did there?) before us.

From polished stone dildos and goat-eyelid cockrings to vibrators that required their own steam engines, the evolution of sex toys has been one hell of a ride.

We’ve come a long way, baby.

Solid As A Rock

An eight inch long and one and a half inch wide polished stone object was discovered near Germany, which experts dated back to some time around 28,000BC. Due to its shape and size, scientists believed the object to have been used as a sex aid during the Ice Age.

The First Buzz

Cleopatra is believed to have been the first women to harness the power of the buzz, around 45BC. Legend says she ordered a servant to hollow out a gourde and fill it with bees. Confined to such a small space, the frantic movement and buzzing of the bees is said to have made the gourd vibrate.

The Invention Of Kegels

Ben Wa, or Geisha, Balls were used at early as 500AD to stimulate the penis during sex and strengthen women’s pelvic floor muscles.

Put A Ring On It

The cock ring is believed to have been invented around 1200AD during the Jin and Song Dynasties in China. The first documented cock rings are said to have been made from the eyelids of goats… with eyelashes intact… although others were soon carved from ivory, including bumps for clitoral stimulation.

Pure Virgin Only, Thanks

Wood and leather dildos were popular during the Renaissance in Italy around 1400, and historians believe olive oil was commonly used as a lubricant to aid their use.

Getting Women Wetter

More of an experience than a sex toy, ‘hydrotherapy’ became incredibly popular around the 1860s, when spas began offering a spray of water direct to the vagina as a treatment for hysteria.

A Star Is Born

The man credited as having invented the world’s first vibrator, now celebrated in the film Hysteria, was American physician George Taylor. Fed up with the common practice of manual pelvic massage to relieve women of the symptoms of ‘female hysteria’, George built the large, steam-powered device dubbed the ‘Manipulator’ in 1869.

Before There Was Botox

Shortly after, the first advertisement in an American magazine for a home electric vibrator appeared in 1899. The vibrator was the fifth home appliance to be electrified, after the toaster, but before the vacuum cleaner. The Vibratile was marketed as a cure for everything from headaches and nerve pain, to wrinkles.

Giddyup

Around the same time that the Vibratile entered homes, so too did a wide range of seating-focused devices, including saddle machines and electric rockers, which were designed to mimic galloping on horseback as another treatment for hysteria.

For The Love Of Latex

In the 1930s, innovations in rubber latex revolutionized contraception, with the introduction of the latex condom, as well as sex toys. Where dildos had previously been made from wood and hard rubber, softer, lighter and more flexible latex opened up a world of new possibilities.

Rallying The Troops

The invention of the sex doll is credited to Nazi Germany military commander Heinrich Himmler, and was initiated in 1941 to keep soldiers satisfied during World War II.

Groan On The Go

In 1968 the vibrator went portable, when a Californian inventor submitted a patent for the first cordless vibrator, requiring two batteries and featuring a rotation cap for speed adjustment.

The Cadillac Changes Everything

The Hitachi Magic Wand, considered by many to still be one of the most powerful clitoral stimulators on the planet, first appeared in the 1970s.

The Dawn Of The Rabbit

Though The Rabbit gained worldwide recognition after guest starring in an episode of Sex and the City in 1998, this popular sex toy actually made its debut in 1984. Created by Vibratex, the design of the rabbit and inclusion of other cute animal characteristics and bright colors was inspired, in part, to get around Japan censorship laws where the manufacture of vibrators was prohibited.

Education, Featured, Sex Toys 101

Women-Friendly Australian Sex Stores

Looking for a little something to spice up your sex life? Toys, accessories and other pleasure pieces can take your experience from same-y to sizzling, whether you’re playing on your own or with a lover.

So where, exactly, can you find such erotic delights, in an inviting, non-sleazy environment? Here’s a quick-guide to 10 of our favorite online and retail stores, offering a focus on sensuality and eroticism for women.

Black Label

Offering a sleek and chic online space to shop, Black Label’s focus is on helping customers discover pleasure, and offers sex toys for women and men, couples’ toys, lotion and potions, massage and BDSM accessories, including restraints, sex furniture, and 50 Shades-inspired gifts. Free shipping is available for all orders over $150, and free batteries and luxury lube samples are included. As stated on their site: Black Label knows nice girls expect their naughty things to come in beautiful packages.

Dirty Weekend Shop

Dirty Weekend Shop focuses on fun and flirtation for women and their lovers, offering an extensive collection of sex toys for women, hens party supplies, seduction tools, massage oils and candles, games for couples, vibes, kegel toys, nipple tassels, ticklers, adult party decorations and much more. Dirty Weekend Shop has a flat shipping rate of $9.95 Australia wide, and offers Raunchy Rewards Points for every dollar spent for discounts on future purchases.

d.vice

d.vice offers a fun and inviting retail environment for women and couples, in-store at 2 Bridge Rd, Richmond in Melbourne, and online. d.vice is a clean and bright pornography free zone, stocked with a gorgeous selection of adult toys, quality sex gear, libido enhancers, toys for couples, Hen’s party games and more. There is a flat shipping rate of $9.99 Australia wide.

Femplay

Femplay Australia is a premium online sex store for women, offering a wide range of carefully selected vibrators, dildos, sex toys for couples, and essentials such as lubricants, condoms, sexual stimulants, and adult movies. Femplay offers free same-day shipping on orders over $150, and free batteries for battery-powered devices.

Lovehoney

Lovehoney is self-described as the ‘sexual happiness people’, offering an extensive selection of exclusive toys by Tracey Cox, vibrators, couples massagers, lingerie and costumes, chastity and fetish devices, sex games and accessories and more. Lovehoney’s Oh! Points loyalty scheme allows you to collect points as you shop to be used to discount future purchases. Australia Air Sure Tracked shipping is free nationwide.

Love Rouge

Love Rouge is self-described as a unique destination for female intimates, and offers a wide range of products, from pleasure toys and boudoir accessories to erotic books and gifts, costumes and bridal intimates. Free gift wrapping is included on all orders.

Mimi De Luxe

Mimi De Luxe is one of the pioneers of smut-free adult shops appealing to women in Australia. They’ve been around since 2011 and have a strict no nudity policy. Positioned as a sexy David Jones crossed with Net-A-Porter they sell only designer sex toys made from quality materials and providing serious pleasure. Mimi De Luxe is also the first in the industry to provide both free delivery and free returns. Which means they pay all postage if something goes wrong with your product during its warranty period.

Passionate Jade

Passionate Jade is one of Australia’s best-known female-friendly erotic boutiques, and offers an online shopping experience as beautiful as its vast array of sensual products. Offering an incredible array of boudoir accessories, vibrators, lingerie, smart balls, massagers, dildos, couples’ toys, gifts for her, for him, anal toys, boudoir gear, lubricants, cleaners, and books Passionate Jade offers free shipping for all orders over $50.

Pleasure Me

Pleasure Me is a premium, pretty-in-pink online store aimed at women and couples, offering a wide array of high-end vibrators, lubes, accessories, and toys for lovers. Pleasure Me adds free batteries to orders of sex toys and vibrators, and offers free shipping on orders over $200.

The Sweet Spot

The Sweet Spot is a boutique online pleasure store especially for women, offering a discerning selection of vibrators, adult toys, lubes, oils, pleasure enhancers, restraints, whips and clamps, costumes, corsets and bustiers, lingerie, erotic fiction and adult DVDs, adult board games, kits and gifts.

Wildsecrets

Wildsecrets is one of Australia’s largest online sex stores, and offers an enjoyable online shipping experience for women, with products ranging from vibrators and dildos, to anal and fetish toys, kits and novelties, lubes and lotions and much more. Shoppers receive a free gift with orders over $100, and all items displayed in the store are in stock, meaning quick delivery.

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Condoms
Fertility, Pregnancy & Birth, Your Body

Do You Have A Sexually Transmitted Infection?

Sexually transmissible infections (STI’s) are passed from one person to another during a bit of ‘rumpty-pumpty’…or ‘how’s your father?’ (Seriously, how strange are euphemisms for getting it on?), from mum to baby during pregnancy and birth or through blood products and tissue transfer (e.g. sharing needles).

Most STI’s are transmitted though all the yummy stuff, like the exchange of sexual juices (pre-cum, cum, lady’s love lube) or skin-to-skin contact during a bit of bum fun, oral or vaginal sex. However, some can even be transmitted by sharing bed clothing and linen (scabies and pubic lice).

Globally, there are over 30 bacterial, viral and parasitic STI’s and 499 million new cases of curable STI’s yearly (WHO, 2008). STI’s are a major cause of illness, disability and death – with serious medical and psychological consequences for countless people.  Additionally, those who are infected with some STI’s are statistically more likely to acquire and transmit HIV

However, STI’s need not mean that you can’t enjoy yourself and other’s bodies and are not necessarily the end of the world. Yes, they are a little bit of a curve-ball in the game of life, but we can take steps to protect ourselves and our playmates. There are also ways in which we can live with STI’s and remove stigma and shame around them to take ourselves forward into a much brighter, shinier, more positive sexual future.  One of the most positive steps we can take for all of our community is to educate ourselves about STI’s and to begin to talk about them openly and without judgement.

Here are the possible signs of an STI:

  • No signs
  • Testicular , urethral (pee hole) or  vaginal discharge/discomfort
  • Painful intercourse/urination
  • Abdominal pain
  • Genital “growths” or ulcers

 Avoiding transmission

Obviously, the most effective means of avoiding transmission is abstinence (not having penetrative sex or engaging in sexual activity) or only having sexual relations in a long-term, monogamous relationship with an uninfected partner. However, it is possible to have SAFER SEX by empowering your sexual being with informed choices, building upon your self-esteem, having a positive attitude towards sexuality and consistent and correct condom/dam use.  A dam is a thin square of latex that fits over the vagina or anus. Additionally, there are vaccines available that protect against some STIs or strains of STIs (Hepatitis A and B and some strains of HPV).

Screening/Testing

Screening or testing is an excellent idea as many STI’s don’t have symptoms and you may have no idea that you have one. It’s a good idea to have regular sexual health check-ups as soon as you start to become sexually active, especially if you are engaging in unprotected sex or have multiple partners. You can get tested at your local GP, family planning/planned parenthood clinic or sexual health care clinic. In some countries these are referred to as genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics. You will be asked to give blood, urine or swab tests and may have a physical examination.

EDUCATE…SAFER SEX…SCREEN

New Terminology

STI’s used to be referred to as venereal diseases (VD) or sexually transmitted diseases (STD). Strictly speaking there is a difference between STD’s and STI’s, but the umbrella term STI is now preferred.  This is because infections are not always associated with symptoms, whereas diseases are. Also, for some using the term STI helps to minimise the embarrassment or stigma that might be associated with having a ‘disease’.

 

The A-B-C’s of STI’s

As mentioned previously there are over 30 STI’s here are a few:

  • Bacterial Vaginosis (BV)
  • Chancroid
  • Chlamydia and Lymphogranuloma Venereum (LGV)
  • Cytomegalovirus (CMV)
  • Donovanosis  (Granuloma inguinale)
  • Gonorrhoea
  • Hepatitis (A, B and C)
  • Herpes (HSV1 and HSV2)
  • HIV and Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome (AIDS)
  • Human Papillomavirus (HPV) and Genital Warts
  • Intestinal parasites
  • Molloscum Contagiosum
  • Mononucleosis (‘mono’)
  • Mucopurulent Cervicitis (MPC)
  • Mycoplasma genitalium
  • Pelvic Infammatory Disease (PID)
  • Pubic lice (‘crabs’)
  • Scabies
  • Syphilis
  • Trichomoniasis (‘trich’)