BDSM For beginners
Education, Featured, Orgasms, Relationships, Sex Ed

BDSM For Absolute Beginners

For the uninitiated and unfamiliar, BDSM (bondage, discipline and sadomasochism) is a broad umbrella term alluding to a wide array of erotic practices involving dominance and submission. There are many sub-cultures that identify with the BDSM catchall, and while many BDSM-associated practices are sexual, not all involve sex. For some, pleasure is derived simply in the act of submitting to another person, or having consensual control over another. For others, erotic pain – giving it, receiving it, or both – is necessary for sexual satisfaction.

While once relegated to the so-called seedy sexual underworld, BDSM is now more mainstream, with greater awareness of pleasure/pain sensualities being explored in books, film, magazines, and porn sites.

If you’re curious about BDSM, and would like to dip your toe into it delightfully dark waters, here are some tips for absolute beginners.

Discuss It With Your Lover

The idea of surprising your lover dressed in head-to-toe leather or latex might turn you on, but the reality of catching them completely unawares may not live up to your expectations… especially if your frisky frolics have been purely ‘vanilla’ in the past.

Try subtly introducing a little light spanking into your boudoir play and gauge their reaction, or watch a film or read an erotic book together drawing on BDSM elements. Express your interests and desires and suggest things you could try to see whether you would both be into it.

Get The Basic Gear

If you’re introducing a little BDSM play into your sex life, there are a few essentials you can pick up from any good online retailer. Passionate Jade has a bondage section dedicated to naughty-nice products and accessories, including metal and silk cuffs, cute crops, feather ticklers and floggers, blindfolds, bed restraint kits, and even after-spanking cream.

Almost all online retailers offer a wide selection of BDSM toys, accessories and kits, so have a browse and see what piques your curiosity.

Before You Dive Right In

BDSM is all about trust and control, so it’s important to discuss your limits with your partner before popping that shiny red ball-gag in your mouth. Decide on both a safe word and signal that you can use of either one of you becomes uncomfortable, and respect one another’s boundaries.

Role-Play Your Way to Perfection

For first timers, relinquishing or taking control can difficult, depending on your natural inclinations. You may feel silly at first, so to let go of your inhibitions, and think of your foray into BDSM in terms of role-play, where each of you plays a character. Have fun with it, experiment, and find out what works for you and what doesn’t.

This is about you and what you and your partner find pleasurable, so there really are no right or wrong ways to play. The Bondage Police are not going to come knocking on your bedroom door if you don’t do BDSM the way someone else does… unless, of course, that’s part of your fantasy.

 

Image credit:© katalinks – Fotolia.com

Previous Post Next Post

You Might Also Like

No Comments

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.