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Ronda Rousey
Education, Featured, News

Ronda Rousey: Body Love Champion?

Pro athlete, tough as nails, Ronda Rousey is a knockout. Daughter of a judo champion, this kick-arse chick is on a roll in Women’s fighting.

The champion UFC fighter took down the previously undefeated fighter Bethe Correia on August 1st to win UFC 190 in just 34 seconds, rocketing her into the spotlight in more ways than one.

Like so many women in sports, she has been forced to defend herself against body shamers who insist that muscles on women are masculine, unsexy, and not feminine.

We call BULLSH*T, and so does she. It would seem that this chick has taken the hateful comments and turned them into fuel for her personal fire.

-Just because my body was developed for

Smack DOWN!

Her bad-ass comeback to  the body-shamers has spurred a flurry of “Strong is the new skinny” and “Strong is the new sexy” type mantras through fitspo channels on social media.

Again, we’re calling BULLSH*T. There is NO ONE body type, there is NO RIGHT WAY to look, act, or be.

And it would seem, so does Ronda.

(yeh, yeh, we get that her choice of words isn’t flying the feminist flag – and we also get that she’s said some pretty dumb stuff about trans-gender athletes (And there’s no excuse for that… I’m looking at you Ronda!)) Personally, I’m hoping that position on a body-love pedestal might inspire her to use her powers for good.

Frankly though, when can we cut a break, if we’re not too fat, we’re too fit, too skinny or too tall.  I say F**K  it. Love your body, treat it with respect and be fierce.

Take a leaf out of Ronda’s book, and tell the haters to shove it.


Photo Credit: Disney | ABC Television Group


Feminist Spanking
Body Positive Activism, Education

You Can Still Be A Feminist And Enjoy A Good Spanking

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about feminism, and what it means to me and some of the amazing women I know. I think demystifying feminism as a social concept, and being aware that it means different things to different people – and that that’s okay – is really important in tackling issues of sexual and gender inequality. I also think busting some of the myths around feminism is just as important, because often these myths are used as a weapon, even in the guise of satire, to belittle feminism and perpetuate dominant gender belief systems.

At Polkadotsi, we call bullshit on these myths. Here’s our top 3, busted.

Feminism Is About Man-Hating

False. Feminism is most definitely not about hating on men, or placing the genders into some them versus us socio-political battle. Feminism is about recognizing the gender inequality that still exists in our, yes, largely patriarchal society, and moving forward in a way that embraces men and women equally.

Most feminists (I won’t say all, because there are always extremists in any social or cultural group) do not want to be seen or be treated as better than men. We just want things to be equal, and for everyone to be recognized for who they are, rather than what’s in their knickers.

Feminists Don’t Like To Fuck

Seriously? There is a wide range of variations on this myth, and all of them are ridiculous. It kind of relates to the man-hating myth, but takes it a step further by making it sound like any man who beds is a feminist is a sucker, and in for a really bad time.

Feminists might be less inclined to put up with sexism bullshit, and they might not want to shag someone who treats them as less-than based on their gender or acts like a macho jerk. But that can probably also be said for a lot of women who don’t identify with feminism.

Feminists like to get freaky as much as the next person, and their ideas about equality probably have little bearing on the fun they have with their partner/s. In short, feminists can enjoy a rough-and-dirty shag or a good spanking without worrying they’re submitting to the patriarchy. The key is that they have the right to choose whether or not spanking is their thing.

Men Don’t Want To Fuck Feminists

Because feminists are all hairy, angry, dungaree-wearing man-haters, right? Insert ironic LOL here. I think this myth was actually created to make women feel insecure that if they voiced their opinions, they’d never find a man. Umm… you’re totally missing the point.

Okay, some feminists might not shave their legs or get Brazilians, but some do. Some feminists might be angry, but most probably aren’t. Some feminists may still enjoy rocking their late-90s dungarees, and some won’t be caught dead wearing mismatched lingerie.

And you know what? For every single one of those feminists, there’s someone out there who wants to bone them. Guaranteed. And the ones that do run a mile at the mere mention of the F word are probably pretty bad in bed, anyways.

What you’re favorite or most-loathed myth about feminism?


Image credit: © olly –

Body Positive Activism, Featured, Product Reviews

Ethical Porn, Woman Friendly Porn, and Real Orgasm Pleasure!

I have a confession to make…. I like porn. I like porn a lot! There I said it.

The trouble with my adoration of watching strangers fuck, is that I take SERIOUS issue with a lot of what goes on in the porn industry.

My main concerns centre around rape, exploitation of the actors, and the depiction of sex acts that aren’t pleasurable and may even be painful.

I also have a real problem with the industry of “tube channels” that scrape content from other sites, and don’t pay the film makers. I’ve always thought must be a way to be an ethical porn consumer.

Then I discovered the term “Feminist Porn” and be still my throbbing clit… sexy as fuck videos that show real pleasure and real orgasms! 

It turns out there is a whole, amazing industry – with incredible film-makers producing woman-friendly erotic film. There is still the gratuitous fuck, there are stories, there are fantasies, there is even some amazing fetish porn.

It should go without saying that I jumped at the opportunity to review Bright Desire’s collection of amazingly sexy videos. Bright Desire is porn for women. Ms Naughty the Filmmaker totally nails it. The videos are sexy, beautiful and *ahem* fun to watch 😉

This is my current favorite…. Selfies. (affiliate link to Bright Desire, a girl’s gotta make some coin!)

I think this is what got me:

Even porn can be more, then bunch of dirty people just going through the motions. How about watching real sexual encounter between two people in love? Sex can be a beautiful thing and we will prove you that you can enjoy watching it this way too! –

Real couples feature in many of the videos, so you’re not just watching strangers go through the motions on camera. You’re watching the hot, sexy, dynamic of people who are genuinely attracted to one another.

There are giggles, there is sweat, there are real orgasms… Oh.My.Goodness – watching  orgasms for real on camera is just hot! (affiliate link to Bright Desire videos)

Ms Naughty, the filmographer has a talent for making you feel like a fly on the wall. You can nearly forget that this is erotic film, and that there are cameras, lights, and a crew of people filming.

The films are gorgeous, sexy, and better than I expected. There is something very cool about the realism. Sex can indeed be a beautiful thing!

Don’t take my word for it – check out some of the videos for yourself here (affiliate link) this one I assure you is hotter than 50 shades!
Bright Desires



Ms. Naughty is a writer, editor, blogger, entrepreneur and filmmaker with a passion for making better porn. She’s been curating and creating adult content online since 2000. Her site features her filmed and written work and she also co-owns, one of the first adult sites for women. Her short film “Dear Jiz” won Best Experimental Short at Cinekink in 2014 and her films have screened at numerous international festivals. She lives with her husband in a small Australian town, surrounded by Fundamentalist Christians.



Photo credit:

Body Positive Activism

Slut Shaming And Cyber Theft And Are YOU A Perpetrator

Unless you have been living under a rock (And admittedly I spend a great deal of time under a rock) you would know that several hundred pictures of celebrity women were stolen and posted online. Now fess up here, did you seek out the photos? Were you overwhelmed by curiosity to see celebrities nude? And in doing so, are you nearly as guilty as the thief who stole the pictures?

This has sickened me. Apparently because these women are celebrities, they are public property. Apparently because they are women they shouldn’t be taking nude selfies and storing them on their phone, or the cloud, and according to what seems to be the overwhelming public opinion they are to blame for their pictures being posted online.

Hold the phone!

At no point did these women consent to their pictures being accessed.

At no point did they consent to their pictures being shared.

What the hacker who Stole these photos did was a crime. And a Sex Crime as far as we here at Polkadotsi are concerned.BwclwLFIgAAqTv3

What is more disturbing is the attitude of the general public, with celebrities like Ricky Gervais (who we normally love, but his humour is in really poor taste this time) tweeted that the women should make it harder for hackers to steal their photos by…. not taking them in the first place. Can we spell Slut Shaming with a capital S please Mr Gervais?

Here’s the problem:

Humans are sexual creatures. Sometimes we express our beautiful creativity with nude pictures of ourselves. Those pictures are for us and who we consent to sharing them with. None of the celebrities who’s pictures were stolen are any less moral/worthy/sexually permissive/ than they were before the pictures were stolen.

  • They are not sluts.
  • They are not now available for ogling, judgement, or critique.
  • They are not the property of the general internet at large.

They are victims of a sex crime, and if the perpetrator is caught, we truly hope that they are punished as such.

We’re with Lena Dunham on this one:


“The way in which you share your body must be a CHOICE. Support these women and do not look at these pictures.

“Remember, when you look at these pictures you are violating these women again and again. It’s not okay.

“Seriously, do not forget that the person who stole these pictures and leaked them is not a hacker: they’re a sex offender,”



A footnote:

We have actively chosen not to reference the high profile names in our headline – we feel that those folks who are actively seeking out non-consensual pictures of naked women are nearly as guilty as the folks who shared them, and frankly, Polkadotsi ain’t down with that.



Body Positive Activism, Education, Orgasms, Sex Ed

Sex For One With Satin

How do you masturbate? Is it quick, silent, and over as fast as possible? I’m going to encourage you to try something new.. something a little different, perhaps something indulgent.

Masturbation is all about discovering your body, finding what turns you on, what feels deliciously good, and being present to the delightful sensations.

For this little exercise in sex for one, you’ll need some satiny, silky fabric. Think slinky stockings, a silky nighty, boxer shorts, or even a satin pillow case. I have been told that satin fabrics are slinkier and softer than real silk, and they’re easier to wash..!

Set the mood, and set aside time just for yourself when you’re not going to be interrupted. I deeply encourage you to use a hand mirror to watch yourself, and watch your beautiful pussy as it gets more aroused… watch as it changes, becomes engorged, slippery, sexy….

Or if you’re feeling really daring, film yourself as you discover and explore the folds of your vulva. (Word to the wise, most smart phones have an auto upload feature. Be sure to turn that off if you’re not comfortable with the potential of your video making it to the net!) (I like to use an old school digital camera with no wifi!)

Dim the lights, get comfortable, and explore your gorgeous, sexy pussy using the piece of silky, satiny fabric as a delightful, teasing, pleasure -tool just for you.

Be present to the sensations, breathe, feel your sexual energy pulse through your body. Experiment with touch – firm, feathery light, fast, slow,  lightly drag the satin across your vulva, slide it over your vulva, pull it taught and tease your clit through the fabric… play and discover what feels good.

We would absolutely LOVE if you would like to share your satiny adventures. Feel free to comment below!



Photo Credit: andresr

Body Positive Activism, Education, Featured

Selfies as a Feminist Statement?

If you’ve never taken a selfie, you’re one of the very few. Some people think of them as a sign of the times – a reflection of society’s increasingly unapologetic narcissism. Others consider them a form of expression – a medium through which they can tell the world “hey this is me, and this is what makes my life meaningful”.

One woman, though, considers her selfies to be a feminist statement, and has created an entire photography project around them on Tumblr, juxtaposing them with some of the cruel comments submitted by anonymous internet trolls to highlight the “girl-on-girl hate” currently prevalent in the online sphere.

Lindsay Bottos is a photography major and gender studies minor at the Maryland Institute College of Art in the USA. She has been posting via the popular micro-blogging platform Tumblr since 2010, and over the years has received hundreds of cruel anonymous messages. These messages promoted her to create Anonymous early this year – a work in progress post that has since gone viral.

On her blog, Lindsay says:

I get tons of anonymous messages like this every day and while this isn’t unique to women, the content of the messages and the frequency in which I get them are definitely related to my gender. I almost exclusively get them after I post selfies. The authority people feel they have to share their opinion on my appearance is something myself and many other girls online deal with daily.

Though the anonymous messages affected her, she began to take screenshot them, and put them back into the medium from whence they came. She says that while some people consider selfies to be a cry for attention, wanting attention isn’t bad. She says:

The act of women taking selfies is inherently feminist, especially in a society that tries so hard to tell women that our bodies are projects to be worked on and a society that profits off of the insecurities that it perpetuates. Selfies are like a ‘fuck you’ to all of that, they declare that ‘hey I look awesome today and I want to share that with everyone’ and that’s pretty revolutionary.

It’s an interesting concept, and I happen to think Lindsay’s philosophy on the selfie is pretty badass. What do you reckon?

Body Positive Activism, Safer Sex

Enthusiastic Consent: Shifting Our Focus from No to YES

It’s important to consider consent. What it means to give consent is integral to discussions on sexual assault and healthy sexuality, and beyond that, every day situations require consent.

Everyone has the right to existing, including sexuality without violence and coercion, and much contemporary discourse on consent is beginning to focus on enthusiastic consent as a positive step.

What is Consent?

Consent and open communication should be the basis for every interpersonal and sexual encounter, and means that both partners want to participate in an activity.

Consent is transient.

Consent to one activity does not obligate you to consent to other activities, just as consent on one occasion does not obligate you to consent on other occasions. It’s crucial to understand that consent can be revoked at any time if you do not want to go any further, or if you change your mind.

Project Respect offers this excellent definition on consent:

Consent is a mutual verbal, physical, and emotional agreement that happens without manipulation, threats, or head games. Consent is a whole body experience. It is not just a verbal “yes” or “no” – it involves paying attention to your partner as a person and checking in with physical and emotional cues as well. Consent is also mutual (both people have to agree) and must be continuous. You can stop at any time, you can change your mind, and just because you said yes to one thing doesn’t mean you have consented to anything else.

Enthusiastic Consent

While previously many people have thought about consent as the absence of saying ‘no’, this emphasis is outdated – and, many experts suggest, dangerous. When we define consent in terms of someone’s ability to say no, we set parameters that do not include people who are unable to say no for whatever reason

Their inability to say no is not the same as consent. Which is why many are turning towards the idea of enthusiastic consent – which means getting a positive and definitive YES as opposed to a no – as a more sex-positive, inclusive and healthy definition.

The idea of enthusiastic consent advocates for enthusiastic agreement to sexual activity, as opposed to passive agreement the concept also requires that consent be given to each sexual activity, meaning that saying yes to one thing does not mean consent to another.

The idea is to be respectful of your own physical and sexual autonomy, as well as your partner’s. It highlights that an unsure or hesitant yes is not enthusiastic consent, and needs to be considered.

Expanding the Definitions of Consent

There are situations that can’t necessarily offer enthusiastic consent, for example in sex work.

In these cases, I believe it’s important to recognise what consent looks like in terms of negotiation, transaction, and the terms of consent.

As an example, purchasing the services of a sex worker purchases you their time, but not a right to their body at all- that is something that they can negotiate, consent, and withdraw consent if they choose always.

This also brings up the discussion of privilege, and how certain situations might be appearing to be consensual but are in actual fact exploitative.

We need to have these conversations.

News, Safer Sex

Sexual Assault Resources Australia

Everyone responds to sexual assault differently: there is no right or wrong way to respond – the most important thing is to look after yourself.

If you are a victim of a recent sexual assault, it is important to get help as soon as possible, particularly if you are considering reporting the assault to the police. However, you can do something about sexual assault no matter when the assault took place.

There is a significant amount of support, resources and information available to victims of sexual assault, as well as their families and loved ones, who can also be impacted. Listed alphabetically are a selection of some of the resources and support organisations available across Australia.


1800RESPECT is a national sexual assault, domestic assault and family violence counselling service, offering a helpline, information and support 24/7. Users can call the telephone counselling line, or connect with a counsellor online. The site also provides information about finding local support and safety planning.

About Date Rape

Established by the NSW Attorney-General’s Department Crime Prevention Division, About Date Rape provides information and resources about date rape to girls who may have been assaulted, their friends and family. This site includes information about date rape, finding help, a guide to what’s okay and consensual and what’s not, real stories, educational resources, and more.

Adults Surviving Child Abuse

Adults Surviving Child Abuse (ASCA) is a national organisation that advocates, builds and delivers supports to facilitate recovery with and for people, families and communities, affected by childhood trauma. Visit the website for information about their services, including a professional support line, education and training workshops, self-help resources and more.


Bravehearts focuses on the education, empowerment and protection of Australian children by providing healing and support, engendering child sexual assault prevention and protection strategies; advocating for understanding and promoting increased education and research. Their website offers information about counselling, crisis and advocacy, court support, tips for parents, training and workshops, and much more.

Canberra Rape Crisis Centre

Canberra Rape Crisis Centre is a non-government organisation working to eliminate sexual violence against women, young people, children, and men. The website offers information and resources, and services include education and training, confidential counselling, crisis phone support, advocacy and information, referral to relevant agencies, support for family and friends and more.


eheadspace is a confidential, free and secure space where young people 12 – 25 or their family can chat online, email or speak on the phone with a qualified youth mental health professional.

Kids Helpline

Kids Helpline is a free, private and confidential counselling service for Australian children and young people aged between 5 and 25 years.


Lifeline is a national charity providing all Australians experiencing a personal crisis with access to 24-hour crisis support and suicide prevention services.

NSW Rape Crisis Centre

NSW Rape Crisis Centre provides the 24/7 telephone and online crisis counselling service for anyone in Australia who has experienced or is at risk of sexual assault, family or domestic violence and their non offending supporters. Counselling services for women who were sexually assaulted in childhood are also available from Women’s Health Centres across NSW.

Law Access

Law Access, NSW Department of Justice and Attorney General, offers a wide range of information and resources for victims of sexual assault and their loved ones. Some of their resources include:

Queensland Government Department of Health

Queensland Government Department of Health offers a wide selection of resources for victims of sexual assault and their loved ones, including: Australia is an online resource dealing with an array of youth issues, and offers a range of resources on sexual assault and sexual health, including:

Sexual Assault Resource Centre

Provided by the Government of Western Australia Department of Health, the Sexual Assault Resource Centre (SARC) offers information about their emergency and counselling services for recent and past victims and youth.

Victim Support Service

Victim Support Service (VSS) provides free and confidential help to adult victims of crime, witnesses, their family, and friends across South Australia. The website offers a range of resources, as well as telephone support.

If you are in immediate danger of sexual assault or feel threatened or unsafe, please call emergency services on 000.

Body Positive Activism, Education

Highlighting the Facts this Sexual Assault Awareness Month

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month, and the SAAM campaign is all about raising awareness about sexual violence, and promoting tool and ideas to encourage healthy sexuality.

Violence against women, particularly intimate partner violence and sexual violence against women, continue to be major public health issues, and the World Health Organization (WHO) reported as recently as October 2013 that 34 percent of women worldwide have experienced either intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.

That number, of course, only takes into account assaults that are actually reported. RAINN estimates that out of every 100 rapes (in the USA alone), only 40 will be reported to police. A 2007 report (Without Consent) estimates that as many as 75 and 95 percent of sexual assaults are never reported.

Sadly, sexual assault is vastly under-reported worldwide. And continuing social attitudes and stigma towards sexual assault, and even legislation, make the reporting of rape and sexual assault extremely difficult for victims.

Global Barriers

In some jurisdictions, anything other than male-female sexual assault is not counted in statistics (yes, women can assault men, men can assault men, and women can assault women)

The attitudes of police in some countries often discourages victims from reporting rape and sexual assault. A study in Turkey found that 66% of police officers interviewed agreed that the physical appearance and behaviors of women tempt men to rape.

In many countries, rape is rarely reported due to the extreme social stigma cast on victims, the fear of being disowned by their families, and even the very real threat of honor killings.

In countries where premarital sex and/or adultery are illegal, victims of sexual assault can themselves face prosecution.

Marital sexual assault and rape are not considered illegal in some countries.

Local Issues

This year in Australia, as at March 30th 2015, 25 women have lost their lives to intimate partner violence, or domestic violence.

Sexual assault, sexual violence and rape are not just acts perpetrated overseas. According to Centres Against Sexual Assault, 1 in 5 women and 1 in 20 men have experienced sexual violence since the age of 15, and 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually assaulted before the age of 16.

The Australian Centre for the Study of Sexual Assault estimates that only 1 in 6 Australian women who are attacked report it to authorities. In a 2013 interview with The Age, Head of the Centre Against Sexual Assault’s south-eastern branch, Carolyn Worth, said:

“Some people don’t report because they don’t think they’ll be taken seriously… Others are embarrassed or blame themselves.”

Nationwide research has pointed to a key number of reasons women don’t report sexual assault to police in Australia, including:

  • Lack of faith in police and the justice system
  • Fear they won’t be believed
  • Fear of coping with medical and legal procedures
  • Fear of reprisals
  • They don’t want friends and family to know
  • Humiliation and shame
  • Prevalent social attitudes that blame the victim for sexual assault

Encouraging Change

One of the keys to addressing and ending sexual assault is to acknowledge its existence. To raise awareness of the fact that it continues to affect people worldwide – including our very own communities. It can be tempting with any social issue to consider it to be other to ourselves, and removed from our own contexts, but this simply isn’t the case. Sexual assault, sexual violence, rape and intimate partner violence can occur within any community, and its perpetrators don’t discriminate against ethnicity, age, or socioeconomic standing.

Creating open discussions, raising awareness and focusing on education are the only ways that we can stop the cycle. This week, and for the month of April, we’ll be posting a range of articles and resources dealing with sexual assault and violence.

For more information on help and support within Australia, please see our recent post Sexual Assault Resources Australia.

If you are in immediate danger of sexual assault or feel threatened or unsafe, please call emergency services on 000.

Body Positive Activism

Amy Poehler is My Feminist Spirit Animal

Amy Poehler does womanhood and feminism like a boss, okay? If I saw her on the street, I’d likely her hug for an uncomfortably long time while stroking her golden hair and professing my deep admiration for her (Amy, if you’re reading this, you’ve been warned).

She has often shared her thoughts on feminism and sexual equality and what it means to be a woman and how we should be raising our girls (basically #AllTheImportantThings), and the internet has been floored by her insight. Repeatedly. Because she’s eloquent as fuck. But also, she’s charming and funny and disarming – and she’s not afraid to call bullshit on other female celebrities’ renouncements of feminism.

Not only that, but she went and co-founded Smart Girls at the Party – an online resource combining blogs and vlogs aimed at girls and young women.

I could try and paraphrase and reflect on Amy’s teachings through my own context, but it really wouldn’t measure up. Plus, I want you to experience the wonder of her words, completely unadulterated, for yourself. I’ve skulked about the web to bring you some of my favourites. I hope you love them – and share them! – as much as I have.

On honesty…

Girls, if a boy says something that isn’t funny, you don’t have to laugh.

Via Jezebel.

On celebrities distancing themselves from the term ‘feminist’…

But then they go on to explain what they support and live by—it’s feminism exactly. I think some big actors and musicians feel like they have to speak to their audience and that word is confusing to their audience. But I don’t get it. That’s like someone being like, “I don’t really believe in cars, but I drive one every day and I love that it gets me places and makes life so much easier and faster and I don’t know what I would do without it.”

Via Elle magazine.

On love…

Being in love is the worst. It’s also the best, but it’s so hard and scary to open your heart to someone … when you tell somebody you love them or when you realize you’re in love, what it means is you’re giving yourself over a little bit, you’re being vulnerable. But the point is vulnerability is the key to happiness. Vulnerable people are powerful people … celebrate the idea that you’re in love and that you love the idea of being in love.

Via Love: Ask Amy.

On being a feminist, and how that informs her work…

Yes, I consider myself a feminist, and it informs my work only in that it’s just who I am, in the same way that I’m a woman, or I’m 5’2″ or whatever. I was lucky that I came through a system that had many people who did much more hard work and road clearing before I got there.

Via TimeOut New York.

On embracing your inner boss…

I just love bossy women. I could be around them all day. To me, bossy is not a pejorative term at all. It means somebody’s passionate and engaged and ambitious and doesn’t mind leading.

Via Huffington Post.

On the over-sexualisation of acts like The Pussycat Dolls

“Once it comes into the adult realm it’s like, ‘Great, go for it, do your own thing … Sit on cakes. Do whatever the fuck you want.’ It’s just that I get worried for young girls sometimes; I want them to feel that they can be sassy and full and weird and geeky and smart and independent, and not so withered and shrivelled … More than it being the Pussycat Dolls thing? It’s just distracting from what is real power.”

Via Bust.

On giving a damn…

Girls have to fight against a lot of the same stuff we did growing up…peer pressure, exploitation, etc. But what worries me the most is this trend that caring about something isn’t cool. That it’s better to comment on something than to commit to it. That it’s so much cooler to be unmotivated and indifferent. Our culture can get so snarky and ironic sometimes and we kind of wanted Smart Girls to celebrate the opposite of that.

Via Huffington Post.

On self-assurance…

Figure out what you can do today and go to bed knowing that you’ve done everything you can – it’s going to be okay.

Via Smart Girls at the Party.

Who’s your feminist spirit animal?