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The health benefits of orgasm
Orgasms, Your Body

The Health Benefits of Orgasms

Hey girl. Are you eating right, werking it out at the gym and taking good care of your body? High-fives for you! But there is one more thing you can do to improve your health…

An orgasm a day (or two, who’s counting?) may not be entirely enough to keep the doctor away, but it does offer some fantastic health benefits. Plus, you know – orgasms are pretty rad, so who doesn’t want more of them?

#AllTheOrgasms Can…

Help Relieve Stress

This one is pretty well known, and for good reason. When you orgasm, your brain releases oxytocin – the pleasure hormone – which relieves tension and stimulates feelings of warmth and relaxation.

Protect You From the Common Cold

Regular sex has been linked to the production of higher levels of antibody immunoglobin A, which boosts and immune system.

Help You Sleep

Finding it tricky to turn your brain off at night? Researchers suggest the release of neurochemicals like endorphins can have a sedative effect, so if you’re struggling with insomnia, an orgasm may help you catch some much-needed Zs.

Alleviate Pain

If you have a headache, turning down an evening of passionate lovemaking with your partner might not be the best move. Those feel-good endorphins and oxytocin also have pain-relieving qualities, which can help ease headaches, menstrual cramps and other discomforts.

Help Cure the Blues

Sex hormones have been shown to help lower rates of depression and anxiety, making them great for your mental health. Thank you endorphins!

Help Tone Up Your Pelvic Floor

The big O uses the pubocoxygeal muscle, the same muscle you need to use to stay continent. Rubbin’ one out can actually help stop incontinence by activating your pelvic floor!

Make You Smarter

Okay, smarter might be a bit of a stretch, but orgasms have been proven (through studies where female subjects had their brains monitored by an MRI machine while masturbating) to increase blood flow and the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to all parts of the brain.

Make You Look Younger

Again, a stretch, but the science is there to support this claim! A British psychologist spent a decade researching the effect of sex on people’s appearance, and claimed those participants who had more orgasms looked younger. His theory is supported by the fact that sex releases the human growth hormone;  DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone), which helps to make skin look more elastic.

Seriously. Go get some.

Originally published on March 24, 2014.



Trampoline worthy pelvic floor
Featured, Fertility, Pregnancy & Birth, Orgasms, Your Body

Kick It With The Kegels: Better Orgasms With A Toned Up Pelvic Floor

So you’ve been scratching your head for months now, wondering just what the @#7*! is this ‘core’ that your hot, bouncy Pilates instructor has been enthusing about …so buckle up kids and let’s find out a little bit more about the pelvic floor! Your pelvic floor (PF) is the group of muscles that supports your spine, bladder and bowel and, for women, it also holds in some important lady bits, like the uterus (womb). That’s right; both men and women have a big, fat PF. Awesome!

But, what’s even more awesome about your PF, is that if you spend time maintaining and developing that area, not only is it important to your body alignment , ‘structural integrity’ (captain) and ability to hold your wee,  but it can also lead to some mind blowing orgasms! Now we’re talking.

A good PF can boost sexual sensations, improve men’s erectile function (help you get it up and keep it up) and give you greater orgasmic control, potential and strength.  Wow!

So, now I have your attention, what’s the key to a PF as taut and supple as that trampoline that post-natal mums eye off so nervously??

It’s simple. Get your Kegels on and boost that booty!

Kick It With The Kegels

You’ve probably heard of Kegels or pelvic floor exercises, but are unsure about how to do them.  Here’s a simple how-to:

1)      Find your PF muscles.

This is easy and you should only need to do it the once. Go for a wee and stop your pee mid- flow.  Ta-da! You’ve just used your PF muscles.

(Don’t make a habit of using your PF muscles to stop your wee though, as this can weaken you PF and even cause infections)

2)      Now squeeze. And hold. Then reeelease.

Squeeze those PF muscles you’ve just identified, hold them and then release. Make sure you release all the way. Oh and breeeeatthhheeee.

3)      Repeat.

If you’re still unsure go and see a physiotherapist and they will help you to identify and exercise those pesky PF’s in no time at all.

There are also all sorts of devices that can help out too.

Boost Your Booty

If you’re going to work on the pelvic floor you are also going to have to work on your butt! And who doesn’t love a pert behind?  Strong glutes (butt muscles) will stretch the PF from a dilapidated hammock to a springy-sproingy trampoline of luuurrrveee.

Here’s how:

1)      Squat.

The squat is just about the most natural way to plump those pillows. Just check out any toddler and watch them get down to it, voila, there you have it – the most prefect squat position. No need for any fancy pants gym equipment or weights.  And as an added sexy bonus, squatting opens up the hips and groin too – awesome for that weekend Karma Sutra ‘sesh’ of spine-tingling, pretzel-like sex positions you’ve got planned!

2)      Stair climbing.

Skip the lift and take the stairs..and boost your bedroom bliss!

3)      Walk.

Walk tall and walk proud, you’re working your way towards that stronger, harder butt and orgasm.


Need more specific help? Check out our article “How To Activate Your Pelvic Floor Properly” 

Education, Featured, Orgasms, Your Body

The Health Benefits Of A Good Old Wank!

The Birds and The Bees

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it – Let’s do it, let’s have a waannnnkkkk!

Masturbation is a perfectly healthy, natural activity – mammals, birds and amphibians have all been observed engaging in a little bit of self-pleasuring…yep, that’s right the monkey really does do some spanking.

And just for your viewing pleasure – here’s some Australian native wildlife getting busy – a koala banging one off…


…and a kangaroo

Yay for Skippy!

Masturbation has been observed in deer, monkeys and walruses – even squirrels like to find their nuts. And we ladies and gents are just another mammal.

So Just Who is Wanking?

The Great British public are profuse wankers – with 73% of men and nearly 37% of women reporting having a ham shank in the last four weeks (Gerressu, Mercer, Graham, Wellings and Johnson, 2006). And what’s even cooler – those with higher levels of education, more frequent intercourse and a greater repertoire of sexual activities are more likely to knock one off. And those of the US of A can be attributed with being tossers too, with 38% of women and 61% of men reporting masturbation over the preceding year, which often complemented an active and pleasurable sex life (Das, 2007). Here in Australia 67% of men and 36% of women have engaged in masturbation within the last 12 months.

Ahhh – great nations of those who like to rub one out…it makes the heart fairly glow.

Infantile Masturbation

Even when we are very young we will naturally touch our genitals once we have learnt that by stimulating this area it feels good. And this is normal.

On an aside: it’s interesting to note that infantile masturbation or gratification behaviour – or what some clinicians refer to as gratification disorder (what’s that all about?!)-   and its accompanying grunting, rocking and sweating is sometimes a cause of concern for some parents who might rush their kids off for checks and investigations with the worry that they’re suffering from some form of epilepsy or movement disorder. Which would be kinda quirky if I wasn’t talking about clinical studies that have actually been written…But hey ho, live and learn right?

Kids like to get their rocks off too – and that’s perfectly OK and normal and doesn’t mean that they actually want to hump or get involved in sexual activities. And one for those parents out there who’s noticed Scout likes to play with her foo-foo – Having a positive attitude and communication with little girls (and boys) about masturbation and sexual self-exploration can have long-term beneficial effects upon their view of their sexual self and their subsequent sexual activity in later life (Hogarth & Ingham, 2009). So go easy on the kids and let them know that pleasure is awesome for its very own sake – it will be good for them in the long run.

Oiling the Cogs

Yes of course the post-orgasmic satiation following partnered penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse (if you swing that way) can often be physiologically greater than what we may achieve with masturbation (Brody & Kruger, 2006). Yet masturbation can be effective in treating orgasmic dysfunction or premature ejaculation, familiarise ourselves with our bodies and sexual responses and fulfil our sexual needs. Additionally, we are most definitely oiling our cogs: the functionality of the circulatory, neural and muscular systems of the genitalia is maintained by arousal and orgasm (Levin, 2007). Lubing up means better sexual functioning, which in turn will mean a greater ability to feel sexual pleasure or orgasm more easily – sheeeezzzam.

Masturbation: Self-Cultivating and Self-Loving or Learning to Make Your Flower Grow

Flicking the bean also has many cultivating properties – that’s right tickling your fancy has nurturing benefits. Not only does it strengthen our relationship with ourselves when we get to know, love and nurture ourselves – but by hanging out with who we know best we can improve sexual confidence and grow through self-awareness.

Masturbation can strengthen our relationship with others. By getting to know how to tame our own little beast we are learning how to identify, recognise, articulate and experience what brings us pleasure, which is an extremely powerful step in our self-development. By jilling off we can meet our own needs and then by sharing these experiences with others we can deepen our communication skills, openness and sexual honesty. That makes a little game of ‘Ring-a-ring-a roses’, a mind-blowing tool in our relationship and sexual arsenal.

And here’s some other Health Benefits of Masturbation while we’re at it:

  • Eases abdominal cramps during menstruation
  • Improves pre-menstrual symptoms
  • Relieves migraine headaches
  • Suppresses pain
  • Eases the symptoms of restless leg syndrome
  • Relieves feelings of frustration and stress
  • Helps relaxation by interfering with ruminations (going over and over an argument or previous social interaction again and again)
  • Lifts your spirits
  • by releasing mood-boosting hormones

So why aren’t we wanking?

It was really only quite recently in the seventeenth century that masturbation became viewed as a self-polluting vice. Then in the eighteenth and nineteenth century the medical profession got involved with the belief that the good old wank, or onanism, was both injurious and morally degenerative (Lacquer, 2003). It was claimed that masturbation would lead to blindness, insanity and impotence. Times have, thankfully, moved on since then and we now know that no amount of spanking the monkey is going to make your palms hairy…science and research is well behind us on this one ladies – wanking is officially GOOD FOR YOU!


Brody, S. & Kruger, T. (2006). The post-orgasmic prolactin increase following intercourse is greater than following masturbation and suggests greater satiety. Biological Psychology, 71, 3, 312-   315.

Das, A. (2007). Masturbation in the United States. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 33, 4, 301-  317.

Gerressu, M., Mercer, C.H., Graham, C.A., Wellings, K. & Johnson, A.M. (2008). Prevalence of  masturbation and associated factors in a British national survey. Archives of Sexual               Behaviour, 37, 266-278.

Hogarth, H. & Ingham, R. (2009). Masturbation among young women and associations with sexual  health: An exploratory study. The Journal of Sex Research, 46, 6, 558-567.

Laquer, T. W. (2003). Solitary sex: A cultural history of masturbation. Brooklyn, N. Y., U.S.A: Zone Books

Levin, R. J. (2007). Sexual activity, health and well-being – the beneficial roles of coitus and masturbation. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 22,1, 135-148.

Nechay, A., Ross, L.M, Stephenson, J.B.P. & O’Regan (2004). Gratification disorder (‘infantile masturbation’): a review. Archives of Disease in Childhood, 89, 225-226.

Queensland Goverment (2003). Sex in Queensland : A companion report to The Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health, 2003, Volume 27, Number 2. Queensland : Queensland               Government.

Yang, M. L., Fullwooe, E, Goldstein, J. & Mink, J. W. (2005). Masturbation in infancy and early childhood presenting as a movement disorder: 12 cases and a review of literature.      Paediatrics, 116, 6, 1427-1432.


Photo credit:  bibacomua

Featured, Orgasms

Celebrate Your Solo Sex Life

I loved reading about Emma Stewart’s commitment to discovering masturbation as a sexually experienced adult, but I worried that my fellow wankers may feel that that their early and frequent masturbation schedule is somehow unusual. So I thought I would take a deep breath, kick the cultural shame around talking about masturbation in the butt, and give you some accounts of my “Tours of Tasmania.”

The Not So Innocent Beginnings

So, rather embarrassingly, the first person that inspired sexual feelings was Mike Myers as Austin Powers. I was about eleven having a sleep over at my older cousin’s house, staying up late and watching the films I wasn’t allowed to watch at home. Having a bath the next day, the spa sex scene I had furtively watched the day before popped into my head. I felt a flush over my body and discovered all sorts of nice feelings existed, but fully fledged orgasms were a few years away.

The World of Fantasy

High school friends introduced me to fan fiction and shortly after graduation I discovered the rabbit hole of Slash – fanfic erotica. While previously solo sex had just been straight forward physical self-experimentation, sexual fantasy opened up and extended the physical, emotional and intellectual pleasures of solo sex. Erotic fantasy allows you to explore your creativity, your desires, to transcend any limitations and to experience the unattainable. Well, so I thought. One fateful drunken Thursday night, I met my kink and sexual match. A sporadic, yearlong affair began where all the things in my head were explored and expanded upon. I discovered that partner sex wasn’t necessarily the point or the best part of sexuality. In this affair, I often chose not to seek an orgasm, as it would add to the dom/sub role play, but the memories have enriched my solo sex life for years after. Sex isn’t something that I needed to seek from someone else; wanking wasn’t a sign of sexual failure. Instead sex is something that I am and have. Sex and orgasms aren’t given to me or taken from me in a healthy interaction, they are shared.

Things that Buzz

Apart from the occasional vegetable that got re-purposed for non-nutritional uses, I have never been particularly enamoured by sex toys. Perhaps because my introduction to them was a rather tragic knock off rabbit vibrator that came in a Sexpo show bag. But generally the noise and the feeling of having a disembodied dick present interrupted my ability to fantasise, so I found the whole thing counterproductive to achieving orgasms. Many years later, and after birthing a child, how I feel about my body, what turns me on and even the type of touch I enjoy has completely changed. My tried and tested fantasies and techniques have lost their hold on me and I need to relearn my own sexuality. Acknowledging that my sex just no longer fit in the box I assumed I was in is liberating and exciting. There is now an endless world of exploration ahead of me as I change. Things I had previously said, “No, I definitely don’t like that,” now excite me.

If you have been subscribed to Polkadotsi for even a little while, you are well aware that there is wide and wonderful world of self-pleasure tools out there. Maybe it’s time to equip myself.


Bright Desires

Body Positive Activism, Education, Orgasms, Sex Ed

Sex For One With Satin

How do you masturbate? Is it quick, silent, and over as fast as possible? I’m going to encourage you to try something new.. something a little different, perhaps something indulgent.

Masturbation is all about discovering your body, finding what turns you on, what feels deliciously good, and being present to the delightful sensations.

For this little exercise in sex for one, you’ll need some satiny, silky fabric. Think slinky stockings, a silky nighty, boxer shorts, or even a satin pillow case. I have been told that satin fabrics are slinkier and softer than real silk, and they’re easier to wash..!

Set the mood, and set aside time just for yourself when you’re not going to be interrupted. I deeply encourage you to use a hand mirror to watch yourself, and watch your beautiful pussy as it gets more aroused… watch as it changes, becomes engorged, slippery, sexy….

Or if you’re feeling really daring, film yourself as you discover and explore the folds of your vulva. (Word to the wise, most smart phones have an auto upload feature. Be sure to turn that off if you’re not comfortable with the potential of your video making it to the net!) (I like to use an old school digital camera with no wifi!)

Dim the lights, get comfortable, and explore your gorgeous, sexy pussy using the piece of silky, satiny fabric as a delightful, teasing, pleasure -tool just for you.

Be present to the sensations, breathe, feel your sexual energy pulse through your body. Experiment with touch – firm, feathery light, fast, slow,  lightly drag the satin across your vulva, slide it over your vulva, pull it taught and tease your clit through the fabric… play and discover what feels good.

We would absolutely LOVE if you would like to share your satiny adventures. Feel free to comment below!



Photo Credit: andresr

Education, Featured, Orgasms, Personal Stories

Sex For One

The Year Of The Poonani

Ok, so I know I’m a sex geek and totally dig anything sexological, but I have a big confession to lay down on y’all…I’m not a masturbator. I know you’re all like totally shaking your heads and rolling your eyeballs, muttering “yeah, right”. But unfortunately, I have to fess up, it’s totally true.  So I made a decision I’m going to make this year all about me baby – that’s right me and my poonani are going to get a little more familiar.

Hell fire And Damnation

Growing up I had a heap of siblings and the twin and I were attached at the hip. There literally wasn’t the space or privacy for a bit of a fiddle.  Also, although I have no conscious memories of ever been told to ‘not touch down there’, there seemed to be an unspoken that it was not the done thing. Of course, now I realise silences and non-dialogue can be just as damaging to the developing sexual psyche as outright bans.  If it’s something soooo terrible that it cannot even be voiced , then hell and damnation ain’t got nothing on what will happen to you if you did do it…So people,  if a piece of advice is to ever pass through my lips about kids and stuff, sex and growing up, it’s this – talk about it!!! Your kids’ genitals and sexual development aren’t simply going to shuffle out of the door quietly if you pretend they don’t exist.

Chasing The Boys

So growing up I never got to flick the bean and when my desires and sexual feelings began to kick in, with all those crazy-wild bodily sensations you get as a small person, I didn’t turn to myself. I was no good girl scout. I was not prepared. Instead, I fell into chasing the boys and looking for that sweet relief elsewhere. And god dam did it get me into trouble.

The Art of Masturbation

I now feel true sexual resilience comes from self-sufficiency – being a masturbator makes you master (hardy ha) of your sexual feelings, responses and sexual repertoire. You’ll become proficient in knowing your own being and how to turn yourself on – imagine the endless benefits and possibilities. Being single becomes a positively amazing space of discovery and hanging out with the person that knows you best. I’d like to kick those crappy stereotypes of masturbation and being self-sufficient in your own pleasure to the kerb. It’s not desperate, sad or lonely – it’s a fucking art.

Brave New World

So to get me on my artistic journey I did what I do best, sex geeked out and brought a whole pile of books.  The book that I related to best out of them all was the iconic ‘Sex for One’ by the glorious Betty Dobson, Ph.D.  I read it and wept; wept  for the vulnerable child that I was who placed the responsibility of her sexual pleasure into the unsteady hands of others, wept for the loss of that time of self exploration and wept from the joy of approaching that journey now. As Betty proclaims, “The space between the thought and the action was inhibition”, so I vow to move through that space in a conscious willingness to seek new pleasures.  Like Miranda, we can all step into a Brave New World of self discovery, in spite of and because of all our flawed, juicy marvellousness.


Bright Desires

Orgasms, Your Body

G Marks the Spot

Officially called the Gräfenbreg spot, but more commonly known by its nickname, the g-spot is an erogenous zone inside the vagina, typically found between one to three inches inside on the front anterior wall. Though it has been studied since the 1940s and disagreement persists over it existing at all, women around the world sing its praises, claiming it can attribute to powerful orgasms and female ejaculation.

Where is the G-Spot?

If you haven’t found your g-spot before, experts suggest that locating it can take some patience. Most g-spot enthusiasts say the best way to find it is to lay on your back with your legs spread and knees slightly bent, and insert two fingers inside the vagina (with your palm facing up), pressing your fingertips against the vaginal wall while looking for a spongy, slightly puckered or rigid area, similar to the roof of your mouth.

Like the vulva, the g-spot is said to swell when you’re aroused, so look for it when you’re already in the mood.

G-Spot Toys

Ready to have some fun enjoying your g-spot? Here are some of the most popular g-spot-focused toys currently available for sexual adventurers.

Mona 2 by Lelo

Lelo’s Mona 2 is specifically designed for g-spot stimulation thanks to its contoured form and variable vibration settings. This vibe is also ‘full-figured’ for fuller internal sensation. Check out Lelo’s video for more information.

Form 6 by Jimmyjane

Jimmyjane’s Form 6 waterproof rechargeable vibrator features two powerful motors in each end – either of which can be used for clitoral or internal stimulation. The curved end is designed to be particularly good for g-spot stimulation. Check out the video for a helpful demonstration.

G-Ki by Je Joue

Je Joue’s G-Ki recognizes that every woman’s body is unique, which is why they’re created a uniquely adjustable and innovative g-spot vibrator that can be curved into the perfect position for you. This vibrator can also be used as a dual-action toy, to provide g-spot and clitoral stimulation simultaneously. To see just how flexible it is, check out the video demonstration below.

Delight by Fun Factory

Fun Factory’s Delight features truly unique curves and intuitive control, along with 8 vibration intensities and 3 programs for clitoral and g-spot stimulation. Check out the video for more information and to see it in action.

Do you have a favorite g-spot locator technique or can you recommend a g-spot toy? Let us know in the comments!

Orgasms, Sex Toys 101

Spice it Up: Toys for Couples

While the sex toy industry has traditionally been focused on solo play and pleasure, a more recent move towards shared stimulation has prompted the release of a wide range of toys, vibes and other pleasure pieces for couples – designed to provide mutual satisfaction before or during lovemaking.

Celebrated manufacturer Lelo has been instrumental in this shift, leading the way with their revolutionary and very seductive line of toys developed especially for couples.

Here are five of the most popular couples toys, brought to you buy the brand associated with popularizing techno-play in the bedroom.

Lelo IDA

Designed by Lelo especially for couples and offering 8 stimulation modes and innovation SenseMotion technology, IDA is a premium couple’s massager – and the first to offer vibration and rotation in one amazing toy. Worn by women when making love and offering thrilling rotations and sensations for both partners, IDA comes with its own remote control and is available in deep rose, cerise and black.

Passionate Jade: $249

Lelo Lyla 2

Lyla 2 is a premium remote control massager – designed to be adored by couples and worn internally, or enjoyed externally. Offering eight different vibration patterns, innovative waterproof design and hours of intense fun for couples who like to tease; Lyla 2 is available in cerise, black and deep rose.

Be Spunky: $154.95

Lelo Tiani 2

Featuring SenseMotion technology, interchangeable attachments for varied stimulation and wireless remote control with 8 vibration modes, Tiani 2 is available in deep rose, cerise and black. Worn by women when making love, the smooth silicon design provides powerful vibrations for the clitoris while allowing ample room for partner penetration.

Passionate Jade: $199.95

Lelo Tara

Lelo’s Tara couple’s massager is a variation on the popular IDA, featuring incredible vibrating and rotating stimulation for both partners during lovemaking. Offering six modes and a completely waterproof design, Tara is available in midnight blue, deep rose and black.

Be Spunky: $189.00

Lelo Oden 2

Dubbed the world’s most advanced couple’s ring, Lelo’s Oden 2 is designed to be worn by men when making love to provide shared pleasure for both partners. Offering SenseMotion technology, interchangeable closed and open-ring attachments and a convenient remote control, Oden 2 is available in sleek black and is a wonderful toy for men looking to increase their stamina, and women seeking intense clitoral stimulation.

Passionate Jade: $209.95

Do you have a favorite toy designed specifically for couple play? Share your shout outs in the comments below!


Bright Desires

Education, Featured, Fertility, Pregnancy & Birth, Orgasms, Your Body

The DIY Guide To Gushing, Squirting and Having Some Fun

Shrug Off Those Shackles

Healthy sexuality begins with an acceptance of self, which can come about when we have an awareness of our body. This knowledge can literally free us, enabling us to enjoy sex more and enhance our relationship – whether with ourselves as we’re ‘going solo, baby’ or with others. With regards to FE, the shackles of cultural taboos and fears of urinary incontinence or over-wetness (really, can you ever, ever be too wet?) must be shrugged off.

It’s Not Pee – I Promise!

Yeah, of course, it often feels like you want to pee super badly – the urethra and bladder are right next to the juicy G spot, but there’s no need to be stopping in the throes of maddening love-making (or get down, dirty, humping sex for one) to be dashing off to the loo. (Unless you’ve got a urinary tract infection (UTI) brewing to spoil the fun, we needn’t worry.)

Getting Your Proficiency Badge

Although not widely accepted in society, FE is a tangible experience for many, maybe even every 4 in 10 women. It’s really no biggie…some do and some don’t. It’s not down to experience, partner(s) proficiency (there is no FE scout’s badge) or ‘superior’ sexual functioning. It’s just that we’re all built differently.

It’s All in The Pipeline

But just in case you do have the necessary pipe work and equipment secreted up your v-jayjay, it’s probably a good idea to find out about this particular type of rigging, before she blows. Most women are unaware of FE before it happens to them and this can lead to adverse psychological effects, brought on by embarrassment and shame. It can freak you and your partner out when your foo-foo begins to flow or go off like a geyser if you’re not expecting it….

Just Have A Fiddle

And no, gleaning info from your mates, social media and porn may not exactly give you the most accurate portrayal of your lady-waters. Even a little self investigation would be soooo much better…that’s right have a fiddle…check out if you have a G spot! Experiment and listen to your body.

Be aware that female ejaculates can be emitted from the urethra and G-spot, but women have also reported it flowing from the clitoris, from their cervix and from the vagina. You may not even be able to pinpoint where it’s coming from. And that’s OK; literally go with the flow.

Whimsical Waters

It’s also a little hard to say exactly what the fluids will look like…tricky little suckers. Often the liquids will be clear, but they can become more yellowy when you are dehydrated – wow! How cool, they even remind you when you need to drink more! But they can be thick and creamy, milky or watery. The amount may also vary from dribbles and leaks to gushes that soak the sheets. They can even vary in their taste, with women describing them as sweet, salty or even bitter. As for the odour they usually are odourless, but may smell musky, ‘vagina-ery’ or even like dilute semen – yup, that’s right – lady’s jizz.

So enough about it already I hear you cry- how can I do it?!!

Well women report being able to initially experience FE from as young as 12 years, but others it’s not until adulthood. It’s usually associated with a build up of pleasure or an orgasm, but this is not always the case. Some women can be pre-orgasmic (not had an orgasm yet) and still experience FE.

It may not even give you that earth-shattering climax you’ve seen that porn star scream out as she squirts gallons of her love juice all over that guy’s head – so be prepared, we all respond differently. You may not orgasm, feel overwhelming pleasure, like it or even think the mess or the refractory period (sort of the lady version of wanting to roll over and fall asleep straight afterwards) it can bring is worth it. But you might also love the intense release, the satisfying flooding sensations or even the deeper, fuller inner orgasm that may accompany this little squirt.

So here are some tips on how:

Push It…Oh push It Real Good

Physically there are things that you can do to facilitate FE, such as stimulate the G-spot or zone, which is usually on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina. This can feel like a smooth bump, ridge or raised protrusion. If it’s stimulated by fingers, penis or a toy it will often swell. Some women will then kinda gently ‘bear down’, in what’s similar to a valsalva manoeuvre (which is sort of like a reverse kegel/pelvic floor exercise) or ‘baby-pushing-motion’.

Let’s Get Juicy

Lots of different sexual activities elicit the response, such as penetrative vaginal/anal intercourse, oral sex, masturbation and the use of sexual aids or toys – even intimate touching, kissing and a luscious bit of neck nibbling or biting has evoked a gush in some women. Being sexually charged, juicy and a little bit wet can help. And an emotional engagement with yourself or your partner(s) can also go a long way for the majority of women – but be aware even that random from the pub can make you soak if you and they tune in and make you and your pleasure the centre of this sexy world.

Go With The Flow

Be comfortable in your own skin, relax and let those inhibitions just slide away. There is no pressure to perform – just experiment and go with what feels right. For some it ‘just happens’, exploding within 30 seconds of stimulation, for others there needs to be a particular rhythm to penetration and then a quick withdrawal to elicit the response. Be prepared to try out a few different things. And of course, for some there will never be a gush, but go with the flow hey, this isn’t a competition – just enjoy the ride!


You Might Also Like:

G Marks the Spot

The Controversial Little Squirt and The Controversial Little Squirt part II

Image credit:© Patrizia Tilly –

Bright Desires

Orgasms, Sex Toys 101

Naughty and Nice Gifts for Your Valentine

Forget chocolates or roses or hand-written sonnets this Valentine’s Day. What your lover really wants is you. Preferably naked, in all likelihood.

You don’t have to spend a bunch to spoil and seduce your Valentine. In fact, a little browsing on Lovehoney, The Dirty Weekend Shop and Passionate Jade – three of our favorite Women-Friendly Australian Sex Stores – revealed 10 great gifts for under $50.

Under $10

Plan on spoiling your lover with a striptease this V-Day? Sparkle while you shimmy with these Naughty Love Heart Nipple Tassels. Bonus points if you can master the art of the tassel twirl like a bona fide burlesque babe.

This one is for the boys, and makes a fun gift to send a long distance Valentine. The TENGA Egg Lovers Heart is an ingeniously designed masturbatory sleeve, and features an internal formation of soft hearts designed to deliver intense and orgasmic stimulation.

$11 – $20

Want to treat your Valentine to a steamy sensual massage? This set of sooth Lovehoney Hot Massage Rocks is great for temperature play, and comes complete with carry pouch and guide booklet. Designed to be used with massage oil or lubricant against your lover’s naked skin, they can be washed and used time and time again.

$21 – $30

Fun and functional, this DOMINIX Deluxe Leather Heart Spanking Paddle is expertly designed to enhance S&M play, and is a fun gift for both spanking novices and experts. Triple layered for durability and featuring a red heart insert detail, you and your lover can take turns delivering spine tingling satisfaction.

Valentine's Toys

$31 – $40

I Rub My Duckie is now an iconic brand of sweet, discreet and playful sex toy, and this travel-sized sweetheart-themed I Rub My Duckie is perfect for Valentine’s Day. Featuring a removable feather boa and boasting powerful but quiet vibrations, this waterproof toy can be used in the bath or in bed.

Captivate your lover’s senses with the hypnotic and erotic fragrance of this Aphrodesia Body Mist, featuring rose, ylang ylang and jasmine. Beautifully packaged in a black and gold puff-bottle, this darkly divine gift oozes elegance.

Know a Queen of Hearts who loves taking a tumble into Wonderland? This Heavenly Heart vibrator in red is waterproof and offers ten erotic settings, designed for sexual adventure and satisfaction.

If you and your lover enjoy the finer things in life, what could be more indulgent that a sensual massage featuring luminous 24K gold? LELO Flickering Touch Massage Oil really does contain flakes of radiant 24K gold in its nourishing, vitamin E-enriched oil. Available in Spicy Clove and Amber, Fresh Lily and Musk, and Balsam Fir and Bergamot.

$41 – $50

Crafted from reinforced glass and offering three shapely curves designed to massage your pleasure zones, this Crystal Heart Wavy Glass Dildo makes a fun erotic gift for couples. Smooth and friction-free, this glass toy can be warmed or cooled before use to enhance sensations.

Does your sweetheart have a sweet tooth? This super-cute, soft silicone Cupcakes by Shiri Zinn novelty vibe makes a fun addition to any erotic toy collection, and is beautifully packaged in a red polkadot display tin.


*Prices correct as of the time of posting.

Photo credit: © kiuikson –