So you have an interesting kink…
I went to dinner with a date just recently, and we ordered gelato for desert. I ordered vanilla, he ordered some delicious concoction with brownies, coffee, and hazelnuts… His gelato choices are vastly different to mine, but they’re still gelato. They’re still valid, and they’re very, very much normal. He’s not weird for his differing tastes, and I’m not boring for mine.
Are Your Sexual Thoughts Any Different?
A recent study published in the Journal of Sexual Health found that BDSM and kink are a huge part of mainstream life, with over 46.8% of people surveyed having participated in some type of BDSM act.
Here, we encourage an open minded approach to the things that turn us on and make us hot. Sexual fantasies? Oh my can they make us hot.
And that’s what a sexual fantasy is; a thought that leaves us aroused, turned on, sexually heightened, or feeling very, very lusty. Some of our fantasies might leave us feeling naughty, shameful, or embarrassed… Some of our fantasies might tie into our traumas and hurts.
Am I Normal?
Whips and chains, leather and pain? Or darkly devious, and delightfully unbridled? Soft and silky? Furry and fluffy? Fantasies make our sexuality interesting..
So when your fantasy borders into the dark, the extreme, the tentacle infused, slimy, slippery non-consensual, hard core realm of imagination, is it still normal?
We all have delicious thoughts that we like to entertain to get ourselves off. Some of us have kinks that involve bondage, some of us like to imagine being taken by aliens, some of us like to fantasise about being caught having sex in public places the list goes on, and on, and on..
They’re fantasies. Creative kinky thoughts that get us off, turn us on, and maybe leave us lusty, and tantalised. They make our sex lives exciting, they make us individual, they help us delve into the more interesting and intriguing parts of our sexuality. Humans are wonderfully creative creatures by nature.
Whips and chains, leather and pain? Or darkly devious, and delightfully unbridled? Soft and silky? Furry and fluffy? Fantasies make our sexuality interesting…
The Human Brain is a Marvelous Thing
The wonderful thing about the human brain is that it’s endlessly creative. Fantasies are delightful little brain trips that we may or may not indulge in real life. (Safe, sane, consensual indulgence only, please!!)
We can add fantastical elements to our sex play. Costume, toys, bondage, role play, and other more specialised kinky elements can bring parts of our fantasy to life.
Quick questions, quick answers:
Q. Am I weird?
A. Possibly. But that’s not a bad thing. Our individuality is something to be celebrated, not denied.
Q. Are my feelings deviant or wrong?
A. Nope. Fantasies on their own are just thoughts at arouse you. Just thoughts. Explore your fantasies with costumes, consenting partners, toys, role play, and kinky play – and if you’re always practising safe, sane, consensual sex – we say celebrate your fantasies.
Q. But they’re really out there thoughts… I mean REALLY out there.
A. It’s pretty normal to have far fetched fantasies – rape scenes, pain, non-human, and other fetishes are still just fantasies, but if your thoughts are really, really concerning you, speak to a professional therapist.