Browsing Tag


Education, Featured, Safer Sex

LELO’s Top 10 Tips for Sex Toy Safety

The good folks from Lelo know a lot about sex toys, and I have had the pleasure of chatting with their some of their team members. One of the things I love about Lelo is how dedicated they are to producing, promoting and encouraging healthy sex toys.

So it is my pleasure to share the following tips, as well as Lelo’s giveaway for World Sexual Health Day!

What Can You Do?   LELO go to extraordinary lengths to make sure that nothing gets in the way of your pleasure, but there are many things you can do to preserve your own sexual health when browsing products across the industry.

  1. Look for certifications, avoid fakes

The pleasure product industry, like every industry, has its fraudsters who copy popular products, produce them cheaply and cut all the corners to make a profit. You can steer clear of these products by checking certification and buying from reputable retailers. Check the box also for the phrase ‘novelty use only’ – it’s basically the same as saying ‘we are not accountable for the safety of this product’.

  1. Never, ever settle for second best

When it comes to issues of intimacy, pleasure and health, you shouldn’t compromise. Don’t buy a cheap pleasure product because it looks like an affordable version of a more trustworthy brand. It’s just not worth the risk.

  1. Keep your toys clean

Love your pleasure products and they’ll love you back. Treat them well, and they’ll treat you well. Wash them before using them, store them properly, check the materials for breaks, and use anti-bacterial wipes.

  1. Sharing is caring, but…

If you’re sharing toys in the heat of the moment, it’s best to cover them with a condom and replace it each time. It’s just good sense, really.

  1. Avoid the jellies!

A little knowledge goes a long way when it comes to using pleasure products. For example, the ‘jelly rubber’ many sex toys have been made of is a material that’s been treated with one of any number of plastic softeners, or ‘phthalates’. Phthalates are potentially harmful, even carcinogenic. It’s that kind of information that will help you make the right buying decision and keep you safe.

  1. Choose silicone…

Silicone is a remarkable material, resistant to bacteria and widely used by the most reputable brands in the pleasure product industry. Smooth, comfortable for use and easy to clean, it’s generally a sign the manufacturer is doing things right. Just avoid the sticky kind of silicone, which can attract dust.

  1. … and pay attention to glass and metals

While these products are excellent for cleaning, make sure any glass products of high-quality and perfectly smooth, while be sure to avoid any metals that may cause allergic reactions.

  1. Read Reviews

Go online and check out what people are saying about the pleasure products you’re interested in. There’s a massive online community of sex toy bloggers and reviewers who can be trusted to give you all the information you could need.

  1. Website Checks

Make sure you check out the website of the brand who produces your sex toys. If they haven’t invested in a website, perhaps they won’t invest in safety either.

  1. Nose-Testing purely for pleasure

And not to forget the pleasure aspect, if you are browsing for products in your local store, try looking like a professional and raising gently to your nose like a wine connoisseur. If the vibrations are strong enough to make you want to sneeze, it’s likely to bring full satisfaction when used elsewhere.


For more information and to see how you can get involved, check out the World Sexual Health Day website here.

LELO’S TWITTER EVENT Put Thursday the 4th of September in your social media calendars and join us for LELO Twitter Trivia for a whole day! We’re going to post questions about LELO and World Sexual Health Day –it’s a competition and winners will receive one of the following prizes: Mona 2, Ida or LUNA BEADS. The questions will be tweeted at 10 am EST (US & Canada), 3pm EST (US & Canada) and 8pm EST (US & Canada). Get on Twitter and Check out @Lelo_Official for all of the details!

The lucky winners, one for each product, are going to be announced on Twitter on Friday, the 5th of September at 10 am EST (US & Canada). Just make sure you send us a Direct Message with all your name, address and phone number and your favorite color for your LELO prize.



Love Honey Sqweel Giveaway!

Masturbation May is racing along at a delightful, pleasure filled pace. And we are celebrating!

We have two gorgeous give-aways happening at Polkadotsi right now… The first is a LoveHoney Sqweel oral sex simulator. I have been given one to review by the good folks at LoveHoney, and I must say, it’s unlike any other sex toy I’ve had the pleasure of trying… I will be posting a review shortly..!

The world’s best oral sex simulator for women just got even better! Sqweel 2 features a wheel with 10 lapping silicone tongues, 3 powerful speeds, 30% more power and a new reversible mode and flicker function for incredible orgasms every time.

This upgraded oral sex simulator features all-new functions, a compact and slick case and a 10 tongue wheel made from the smoothest of silicone. Its reverse functionality allows you to switch the direction of the tongues and a flicker setting rocks the wheel back and forth for out-of-this-world sensations.

All of Sqweel’s settings are customisable with 3 scintillating rotation speeds, giving you a whopping 9 different options to explore.

Apply lashings of top-quality water-based sex lube to yourself and the wheel of tongues for extra slippery play.

Key Features:

  • Innovative oral sex simulator with 30% more power than the original Sqweel
  • 10 silicone tongues spin at 3 powerful speeds
  • Reversible wheel for varied pleasure
  • Flicker function for intensified stimulation
  • In a compact, travel-friendly case

To win; simply comment on any post at Polkadotsi with your thoughts, and feelings, and the hashtag #Sqweeel! We’ll pick the most insightful and creative post at the end of May to send a Sqweel to!

Be creative, be insightful, have fun!

Entry is subject to our standard terms and conditions

Education, Featured, Orgasms, Your Body

The Health Benefits Of A Good Old Wank!

The Birds and The Bees

Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it – Let’s do it, let’s have a waannnnkkkk!

Masturbation is a perfectly healthy, natural activity – mammals, birds and amphibians have all been observed engaging in a little bit of self-pleasuring…yep, that’s right the monkey really does do some spanking.

And just for your viewing pleasure – here’s some Australian native wildlife getting busy – a koala banging one off…


…and a kangaroo

Yay for Skippy!

Masturbation has been observed in deer, monkeys and walruses – even squirrels like to find their nuts. And we ladies and gents are just another mammal.

So Just Who is Wanking?

The Great British public are profuse wankers – with 73% of men and nearly 37% of women reporting having a ham shank in the last four weeks (Gerressu, Mercer, Graham, Wellings and Johnson, 2006). And what’s even cooler – those with higher levels of education, more frequent intercourse and a greater repertoire of sexual activities are more likely to knock one off. And those of the US of A can be attributed with being tossers too, with 38% of women and 61% of men reporting masturbation over the preceding year, which often complemented an active and pleasurable sex life (Das, 2007). Here in Australia 67% of men and 36% of women have engaged in masturbation within the last 12 months.

Ahhh – great nations of those who like to rub one out…it makes the heart fairly glow.

Infantile Masturbation

Even when we are very young we will naturally touch our genitals once we have learnt that by stimulating this area it feels good. And this is normal.

On an aside: it’s interesting to note that infantile masturbation or gratification behaviour – or what some clinicians refer to as gratification disorder (what’s that all about?!)-   and its accompanying grunting, rocking and sweating is sometimes a cause of concern for some parents who might rush their kids off for checks and investigations with the worry that they’re suffering from some form of epilepsy or movement disorder. Which would be kinda quirky if I wasn’t talking about clinical studies that have actually been written…But hey ho, live and learn right?

Kids like to get their rocks off too – and that’s perfectly OK and normal and doesn’t mean that they actually want to hump or get involved in sexual activities. And one for those parents out there who’s noticed Scout likes to play with her foo-foo – Having a positive attitude and communication with little girls (and boys) about masturbation and sexual self-exploration can have long-term beneficial effects upon their view of their sexual self and their subsequent sexual activity in later life (Hogarth & Ingham, 2009). So go easy on the kids and let them know that pleasure is awesome for its very own sake – it will be good for them in the long run.

Oiling the Cogs

Yes of course the post-orgasmic satiation following partnered penis-in-vagina (PIV) intercourse (if you swing that way) can often be physiologically greater than what we may achieve with masturbation (Brody & Kruger, 2006). Yet masturbation can be effective in treating orgasmic dysfunction or premature ejaculation, familiarise ourselves with our bodies and sexual responses and fulfil our sexual needs. Additionally, we are most definitely oiling our cogs: the functionality of the circulatory, neural and muscular systems of the genitalia is maintained by arousal and orgasm (Levin, 2007). Lubing up means better sexual functioning, which in turn will mean a greater ability to feel sexual pleasure or orgasm more easily – sheeeezzzam.

Masturbation: Self-Cultivating and Self-Loving or Learning to Make Your Flower Grow

Flicking the bean also has many cultivating properties – that’s right tickling your fancy has nurturing benefits. Not only does it strengthen our relationship with ourselves when we get to know, love and nurture ourselves – but by hanging out with who we know best we can improve sexual confidence and grow through self-awareness.

Masturbation can strengthen our relationship with others. By getting to know how to tame our own little beast we are learning how to identify, recognise, articulate and experience what brings us pleasure, which is an extremely powerful step in our self-development. By jilling off we can meet our own needs and then by sharing these experiences with others we can deepen our communication skills, openness and sexual honesty. That makes a little game of ‘Ring-a-ring-a roses’, a mind-blowing tool in our relationship and sexual arsenal.

And here’s some other Health Benefits of Masturbation while we’re at it:

  • Eases abdominal cramps during menstruation
  • Improves pre-menstrual symptoms
  • Relieves migraine headaches
  • Suppresses pain
  • Eases the symptoms of restless leg syndrome
  • Relieves feelings of frustration and stress
  • Helps relaxation by interfering with ruminations (going over and over an argument or previous social interaction again and again)
  • Lifts your spirits
  • by releasing mood-boosting hormones

So why aren’t we wanking?

It was really only quite recently in the seventeenth century that masturbation became viewed as a self-polluting vice. Then in the eighteenth and nineteenth century the medical profession got involved with the belief that the good old wank, or onanism, was both injurious and morally degenerative (Lacquer, 2003). It was claimed that masturbation would lead to blindness, insanity and impotence. Times have, thankfully, moved on since then and we now know that no amount of spanking the monkey is going to make your palms hairy…science and research is well behind us on this one ladies – wanking is officially GOOD FOR YOU!


Brody, S. & Kruger, T. (2006). The post-orgasmic prolactin increase following intercourse is greater than following masturbation and suggests greater satiety. Biological Psychology, 71, 3, 312-   315.

Das, A. (2007). Masturbation in the United States. Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 33, 4, 301-  317.

Gerressu, M., Mercer, C.H., Graham, C.A., Wellings, K. & Johnson, A.M. (2008). Prevalence of  masturbation and associated factors in a British national survey. Archives of Sexual               Behaviour, 37, 266-278.

Hogarth, H. & Ingham, R. (2009). Masturbation among young women and associations with sexual  health: An exploratory study. The Journal of Sex Research, 46, 6, 558-567.

Laquer, T. W. (2003). Solitary sex: A cultural history of masturbation. Brooklyn, N. Y., U.S.A: Zone Books

Levin, R. J. (2007). Sexual activity, health and well-being – the beneficial roles of coitus and masturbation. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 22,1, 135-148.

Nechay, A., Ross, L.M, Stephenson, J.B.P. & O’Regan (2004). Gratification disorder (‘infantile masturbation’): a review. Archives of Disease in Childhood, 89, 225-226.

Queensland Goverment (2003). Sex in Queensland : A companion report to The Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health, 2003, Volume 27, Number 2. Queensland : Queensland               Government.

Yang, M. L., Fullwooe, E, Goldstein, J. & Mink, J. W. (2005). Masturbation in infancy and early childhood presenting as a movement disorder: 12 cases and a review of literature.      Paediatrics, 116, 6, 1427-1432.


Photo credit:  bibacomua

Sex Ed

Masturbation Technique: Vibrating Fingers

If you’re new to vibrators finger vibrators are cute, non-threatening, and oh-so-easy-to-use. They’re also inexpensive compared to their bigger, penetrative, counterparts!

Finger vibes are designed to be used on your clit and labia. They’re a really fun way to explore what feels good on the outside.

Don’t get caught up with only your clit. Be sure to tease, tickle and explore your labia. The sensations are far more subtle, but very pleasurable. Experiment and discover what feels great for you!

Here are a few options to consider, from the hi-tech to the cute and buzzy!

Jimmy Jane Hello Touch

Say Hello to your partner in a whole new sexy way. Touch and sizzle with the Hello Touch by Jimmyjane, a brand spanking new wearable couples vibrator.

Simply pop the Hello Touch onto your fingertips and then engage in foreplay such as clitoral stimulation, G-Spot stimulation, prostate stimulation – or just explore your partners body and see where you get a reaction!


Tenga Vi Bo Ring Orb

VI-BO Ring Orb has a small vibrating ball with a silicone covering. It has a generous loop of silicone that can be placed around the shaft of a penis or finger without pinching.

The ball is removable and exchangeable with other VI-BO products.

tenga picobong

Key by Jopen Pyxis Finger Massager

With its clever shape and ambidextrous design, the Pyxis finger massager is ideal for both solo and partner play.

Great for warming up pre-sex, but even better to continue during intercourse and you are nearly guaranteed to make the most difficult woman climax!

Use Pyxis for solo masturbation, or in the shower with its waterproof body.


We’ve featured the range at MiMi  – chosen for their visual appeal, functionality, and tried and tested quality.

Polkadotsi hasn’t been paid to publish this post! We just love the gorgeousness.


Photo credit:  piotr_marcinski


Featured, Orgasms

Celebrate Your Solo Sex Life

I loved reading about Emma Stewart’s commitment to discovering masturbation as a sexually experienced adult, but I worried that my fellow wankers may feel that that their early and frequent masturbation schedule is somehow unusual. So I thought I would take a deep breath, kick the cultural shame around talking about masturbation in the butt, and give you some accounts of my “Tours of Tasmania.”

The Not So Innocent Beginnings

So, rather embarrassingly, the first person that inspired sexual feelings was Mike Myers as Austin Powers. I was about eleven having a sleep over at my older cousin’s house, staying up late and watching the films I wasn’t allowed to watch at home. Having a bath the next day, the spa sex scene I had furtively watched the day before popped into my head. I felt a flush over my body and discovered all sorts of nice feelings existed, but fully fledged orgasms were a few years away.

The World of Fantasy

High school friends introduced me to fan fiction and shortly after graduation I discovered the rabbit hole of Slash – fanfic erotica. While previously solo sex had just been straight forward physical self-experimentation, sexual fantasy opened up and extended the physical, emotional and intellectual pleasures of solo sex. Erotic fantasy allows you to explore your creativity, your desires, to transcend any limitations and to experience the unattainable. Well, so I thought. One fateful drunken Thursday night, I met my kink and sexual match. A sporadic, yearlong affair began where all the things in my head were explored and expanded upon. I discovered that partner sex wasn’t necessarily the point or the best part of sexuality. In this affair, I often chose not to seek an orgasm, as it would add to the dom/sub role play, but the memories have enriched my solo sex life for years after. Sex isn’t something that I needed to seek from someone else; wanking wasn’t a sign of sexual failure. Instead sex is something that I am and have. Sex and orgasms aren’t given to me or taken from me in a healthy interaction, they are shared.

Things that Buzz

Apart from the occasional vegetable that got re-purposed for non-nutritional uses, I have never been particularly enamoured by sex toys. Perhaps because my introduction to them was a rather tragic knock off rabbit vibrator that came in a Sexpo show bag. But generally the noise and the feeling of having a disembodied dick present interrupted my ability to fantasise, so I found the whole thing counterproductive to achieving orgasms. Many years later, and after birthing a child, how I feel about my body, what turns me on and even the type of touch I enjoy has completely changed. My tried and tested fantasies and techniques have lost their hold on me and I need to relearn my own sexuality. Acknowledging that my sex just no longer fit in the box I assumed I was in is liberating and exciting. There is now an endless world of exploration ahead of me as I change. Things I had previously said, “No, I definitely don’t like that,” now excite me.

If you have been subscribed to Polkadotsi for even a little while, you are well aware that there is wide and wonderful world of self-pleasure tools out there. Maybe it’s time to equip myself.


Bright Desires


Masturbation Technique: Feather Light and Barely There

This is a teasing, tantalising, titillating technique! It’s all about your clit and if you can be patient enough, this little flick of the bean is well worth the tease! You don’t need toys for this technique, its just you and your fingers! Keep it light, try teasing strokes and flicks. Experiment with the different parts of your clit. The key is the feather light touch.

The feather light barely there technique focusses entirely on your clitoris. To begin with you REALLY will want to start off with the most barely there of touches. Your little button is sensitive, the lightest of touch can be too much…

Set aside time to really get into this, and let your clit warm up to your touch. Use only the tip of your finger, and lightly, ever so lightly buzz your finger over your clit.

Don’t increase the pressure, just ride the waves of arousal until you can bare it no longer. Remember to take your time, this isn’t a race, think of it as an orgasmic marathon.

You don’t need a goal, you’re not pleasing anyone but yourself,  this is just pleasure. Breathe and focus on the beautiful sensations in your body.


Photo credit:  nelka7812


Body Positive Activism, Education, Orgasms, Sex Ed

Sex For One With Satin

How do you masturbate? Is it quick, silent, and over as fast as possible? I’m going to encourage you to try something new.. something a little different, perhaps something indulgent.

Masturbation is all about discovering your body, finding what turns you on, what feels deliciously good, and being present to the delightful sensations.

For this little exercise in sex for one, you’ll need some satiny, silky fabric. Think slinky stockings, a silky nighty, boxer shorts, or even a satin pillow case. I have been told that satin fabrics are slinkier and softer than real silk, and they’re easier to wash..!

Set the mood, and set aside time just for yourself when you’re not going to be interrupted. I deeply encourage you to use a hand mirror to watch yourself, and watch your beautiful pussy as it gets more aroused… watch as it changes, becomes engorged, slippery, sexy….

Or if you’re feeling really daring, film yourself as you discover and explore the folds of your vulva. (Word to the wise, most smart phones have an auto upload feature. Be sure to turn that off if you’re not comfortable with the potential of your video making it to the net!) (I like to use an old school digital camera with no wifi!)

Dim the lights, get comfortable, and explore your gorgeous, sexy pussy using the piece of silky, satiny fabric as a delightful, teasing, pleasure -tool just for you.

Be present to the sensations, breathe, feel your sexual energy pulse through your body. Experiment with touch – firm, feathery light, fast, slow,  lightly drag the satin across your vulva, slide it over your vulva, pull it taught and tease your clit through the fabric… play and discover what feels good.

We would absolutely LOVE if you would like to share your satiny adventures. Feel free to comment below!



Photo Credit: andresr

Education, Featured, Sex Ed, Your Body

Masturbation May is Here!

May is Masturbation and Self Discovery Month! None of us should need any convincing that masturbation is amazing – because orgasms! – but did you know flicking the bean can also be great for your overall wellbeing and your sex life?

Orgasms offer wide range of benefits, including stress busting, so getting yourself to the Big O should really be part of your mental health self-care. Masturbating also helps us understand our bodies and get a good feel for what we like and what gets us off, which then translates to all-round mind-blowing sex with a partner. Need I say more? Check out 4 Reasons to Let Your Guy Watch You Masturbate.

If you haven’t quite gotten the hang of self-discovery, or you’ve been experiencing a little bit of a self-love dry-spell as of late, now’s the time to assign yourself some homework, Mrs!

Masturbation is a very personal, intimate experience, and everyone is different in terms of what works for them. Below are some great tips to help you on your way…

Know Thyself

This Hands-On Guide to Masturbation from Refinery29 offers some great pointers, including:

  • Get to know your body. Understand your anatomy, and touch yourself any place that feels good
  • Discover what turns you on. Read erotica and indulge in fantasy to help get yourself in the mood.
  • Experiment with touch. Stoke, rub, circle, tap and squeeze to see what feels best.
  • Set the mood. Create an environment where you can feel relaxed, and let yourself be turned on without distraction.
  • Find a favorite toy. Try clitoral and internal stimulation, and see what feels best.
  • Choose a favorite position. Changing positions can change sensations; so don’t be afraid to mix it up.
  • Invite your partner to join in or watch. Masturbation doesn’t have to be a solo venture, and masturbating together can be great for your relationship.

Enjoy the Journey

Similarly, Cosmo’s Hands-On Guide to Solo Sex offers this pearl of wisdom:

Try not to be super goal-oriented, like, ‘I have to have an orgasm in less than 15 minutes’… Just ride the wave of pleasure as your nether regions become more sensitive, your heart rate zooms, your breathing intensifies, and the walls of your vagina begin to contract — all telltale signs you’re bound for bliss.

Mix It Up

And Women’s Health Magazine’s Best Masturbation Tips Ever assets:

Variety is key to your sex life, so why shouldn’t that extend to your self-love life? If you need more convincing, know this: By masturbating the same way every time, you might have more difficulty getting off when you’re with a partner. So stay flexible.

Happy Masturbation Month, ladies! If you have a top tip of your own to share, spill it in the comments below.

Education, Featured, Orgasms, Personal Stories

Sex For One

The Year Of The Poonani

Ok, so I know I’m a sex geek and totally dig anything sexological, but I have a big confession to lay down on y’all…I’m not a masturbator. I know you’re all like totally shaking your heads and rolling your eyeballs, muttering “yeah, right”. But unfortunately, I have to fess up, it’s totally true.  So I made a decision I’m going to make this year all about me baby – that’s right me and my poonani are going to get a little more familiar.

Hell fire And Damnation

Growing up I had a heap of siblings and the twin and I were attached at the hip. There literally wasn’t the space or privacy for a bit of a fiddle.  Also, although I have no conscious memories of ever been told to ‘not touch down there’, there seemed to be an unspoken that it was not the done thing. Of course, now I realise silences and non-dialogue can be just as damaging to the developing sexual psyche as outright bans.  If it’s something soooo terrible that it cannot even be voiced , then hell and damnation ain’t got nothing on what will happen to you if you did do it…So people,  if a piece of advice is to ever pass through my lips about kids and stuff, sex and growing up, it’s this – talk about it!!! Your kids’ genitals and sexual development aren’t simply going to shuffle out of the door quietly if you pretend they don’t exist.

Chasing The Boys

So growing up I never got to flick the bean and when my desires and sexual feelings began to kick in, with all those crazy-wild bodily sensations you get as a small person, I didn’t turn to myself. I was no good girl scout. I was not prepared. Instead, I fell into chasing the boys and looking for that sweet relief elsewhere. And god dam did it get me into trouble.

The Art of Masturbation

I now feel true sexual resilience comes from self-sufficiency – being a masturbator makes you master (hardy ha) of your sexual feelings, responses and sexual repertoire. You’ll become proficient in knowing your own being and how to turn yourself on – imagine the endless benefits and possibilities. Being single becomes a positively amazing space of discovery and hanging out with the person that knows you best. I’d like to kick those crappy stereotypes of masturbation and being self-sufficient in your own pleasure to the kerb. It’s not desperate, sad or lonely – it’s a fucking art.

Brave New World

So to get me on my artistic journey I did what I do best, sex geeked out and brought a whole pile of books.  The book that I related to best out of them all was the iconic ‘Sex for One’ by the glorious Betty Dobson, Ph.D.  I read it and wept; wept  for the vulnerable child that I was who placed the responsibility of her sexual pleasure into the unsteady hands of others, wept for the loss of that time of self exploration and wept from the joy of approaching that journey now. As Betty proclaims, “The space between the thought and the action was inhibition”, so I vow to move through that space in a conscious willingness to seek new pleasures.  Like Miranda, we can all step into a Brave New World of self discovery, in spite of and because of all our flawed, juicy marvellousness.


Bright Desires


Previously Banned Erotic Books to Wet Your Whistle

Erotica may be flying off the shelves of real-world bookstores and flooding the digital shelves of Kindles and Nooks around the globe nowadays, but it hasn’t always been so easy to get your mitts on erotica. In fact, erotic novels have been subject to censorship for centuries – many only being granted printing permission within the last few decades.

Want to mix it up and add a little classic, and previously banned, erotica to your reading list? Check out these four excerpts to get a feel for which book might tickle your fancy.

Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence

First published in 1928 but then banned until the 1960s, Lady Chatterley’s lover is perhaps one of the best-known banned erotic books, having gained infamy for its graphic narratives on adulterous sex and its inclusion of unprintable words. It was the subject of obscenity trials in Britain, Japan, and India, and it was banned in the United States, Canada and Australia.

She lay quite still, in a sort of sleep, in a sort of dream. Then she quivered as she felt his hand groping softly, yet with queer thwarted clumsiness, among her clothing. Yet the hand knew, too, how to unclothe her where it wanted. He drew down the thin silk sheath, slowly, carefully, right down and over her feet. Then with a quiver of exquisite pleasure he touched the warm soft body, and touched her navel for a moment in a kiss. And he had to come in to her at once, to enter the peace on earth of her soft, quiescent body. It was the moment of pure peace for him, the entry into the body of the woman.

Fanny Hill by John Cleland

Penned from a debtor’s prison in 1748, John Cleland was re-arrested within a year for his tale of debauchery and sexual adventure, written from former prostitute Fanny Hill’s point of view.

I saw, with wonder and surprise, what? not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of a man, but a maypole of so enormous a standard, that had proportions been observ’d, it must have belong’d to a young giant. Its prodigious size made me shrink again; yet I could not, without pleasure, behold, and even ventur’d to feel, such a length, such a breadth of animated ivory! perfectly well turn’d and fashion’d, the proud stiffness of which distended its skin, whose smooth polish and velvet softness might vie with that of the most delicate of our sex, and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set off by a sprout of black curling hair round the root, through the jetty sprigs of which the fair skin shew’d as in a fine evening you may have remark’d the clear light ether through the branchwork of distant trees over-topping the summit of a hill: then the broad and blueish-cast incarnate of the head, and blue serpentines of its veins, altogether compos’d the most striking assemblage of figure and colours in nature. In short, it stood an object of terror and delight.

The Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller

Miller’s The Tropic of Cancer garnered more than 60 obscenity lawsuits in the USA alone after its American publication in 1961. Chronicling the sexual adventures of a young American writer in Paris during the height of 1930s bohemian culture, the book’s graphic descriptions of sexual adventures with whores, pimps and artists caused quite a fuss at the time.

As she stood up to dry herself, still talking to me pleasantly, suddenly she dropped the towel and, advancing toward me leisurely, she commenced rubbing her pussy affectionately, stroking it with her two hands, caressing it, patting it, patting it. There was something about her eloquence at that moment and the way she thrust that rose­bush under my nose which remains unforgettable; she spoke of it as if it were some extraneous object which she had acquired at great cost, an object whose value had increased with time and which now she prized above everything in the world. Her words imbued it with a peculiar fragrance; it was no longer just her private organ, but a treasure, a magic, potent treasure, a God-given thing – and none the less so because she traded it day in and day out for a few pieces of silver. As she flung herself on the bed, with legs spread wide apart, she cupped it with her hands and stroked it some more, murmuring all the while in that hoarse, cracked voice of hers that it was good, beautiful, a treasure, a little treasure. And it was good, that little pussy of hers!

Ulysses by James Joyce

First published in serial form from 1918 – 1920, Joyce’s Ulysses ran into trouble with the printing of its 13th chapter due to its use of profanity and description of masturbation. It was banned for more than a decade in the USA.

Ravished over her I lay, full lips full open, kissed her mouth. Yum. Softly she gave me in my mouth the seedcake warm and chewed. Mawkish pulp her mouth had mumbled sweetsour of her spittle. Joy: I ate it: joy. Young life, her lips that gave me pouting. Soft warm sticky gumjelly lips. Flowers her eyes were, take me, willing eyes. Pebbles fell. She lay still. A goat. No-one. High on Ben Howth rhododendrons a nannygoat walking surefooted, dropping currants. Screened under ferns she laughed warmfolded. Wildly I lay on her, kissed her: eyes, her lips, her stretched neck beating, woman’s breasts full in her blouse of nun’s veiling, fat nipples upright. Hot I tongued her. She kissed me. I was kissed. All yielding she tossed my hair. Kissed, she kissed me.

What’s your favourite previously-banned or old-school erotic novel?