Shrug Off Those Shackles
Healthy sexuality begins with an acceptance of self, which can come about when we have an awareness of our body. This knowledge can literally free us, enabling us to enjoy sex more and enhance our relationship – whether with ourselves as we’re ‘going solo, baby’ or with others. With regards to FE, the shackles of cultural taboos and fears of urinary incontinence or over-wetness (really, can you ever, ever be too wet?) must be shrugged off.
It’s Not Pee – I Promise!
Yeah, of course, it often feels like you want to pee super badly – the urethra and bladder are right next to the juicy G spot, but there’s no need to be stopping in the throes of maddening love-making (or get down, dirty, humping sex for one) to be dashing off to the loo. (Unless you’ve got a urinary tract infection (UTI) brewing to spoil the fun, we needn’t worry.)
Getting Your Proficiency Badge
Although not widely accepted in society, FE is a tangible experience for many, maybe even every 4 in 10 women. It’s really no biggie…some do and some don’t. It’s not down to experience, partner(s) proficiency (there is no FE scout’s badge) or ‘superior’ sexual functioning. It’s just that we’re all built differently.
It’s All in The Pipeline
But just in case you do have the necessary pipe work and equipment secreted up your v-jayjay, it’s probably a good idea to find out about this particular type of rigging, before she blows. Most women are unaware of FE before it happens to them and this can lead to adverse psychological effects, brought on by embarrassment and shame. It can freak you and your partner out when your foo-foo begins to flow or go off like a geyser if you’re not expecting it….
Just Have A Fiddle
And no, gleaning info from your mates, social media and porn may not exactly give you the most accurate portrayal of your lady-waters. Even a little self investigation would be soooo much better…that’s right have a fiddle…check out if you have a G spot! Experiment and listen to your body.
Be aware that female ejaculates can be emitted from the urethra and G-spot, but women have also reported it flowing from the clitoris, from their cervix and from the vagina. You may not even be able to pinpoint where it’s coming from. And that’s OK; literally go with the flow.
It’s also a little hard to say exactly what the fluids will look like…tricky little suckers. Often the liquids will be clear, but they can become more yellowy when you are dehydrated – wow! How cool, they even remind you when you need to drink more! But they can be thick and creamy, milky or watery. The amount may also vary from dribbles and leaks to gushes that soak the sheets. They can even vary in their taste, with women describing them as sweet, salty or even bitter. As for the odour they usually are odourless, but may smell musky, ‘vagina-ery’ or even like dilute semen – yup, that’s right – lady’s jizz.
So enough about it already I hear you cry- how can I do it?!!
Well women report being able to initially experience FE from as young as 12 years, but others it’s not until adulthood. It’s usually associated with a build up of pleasure or an orgasm, but this is not always the case. Some women can be pre-orgasmic (not had an orgasm yet) and still experience FE.
It may not even give you that earth-shattering climax you’ve seen that porn star scream out as she squirts gallons of her love juice all over that guy’s head – so be prepared, we all respond differently. You may not orgasm, feel overwhelming pleasure, like it or even think the mess or the refractory period (sort of the lady version of wanting to roll over and fall asleep straight afterwards) it can bring is worth it. But you might also love the intense release, the satisfying flooding sensations or even the deeper, fuller inner orgasm that may accompany this little squirt.
So here are some tips on how:
Push It…Oh push It Real Good
Physically there are things that you can do to facilitate FE, such as stimulate the G-spot or zone, which is usually on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina. This can feel like a smooth bump, ridge or raised protrusion. If it’s stimulated by fingers, penis or a toy it will often swell. Some women will then kinda gently ‘bear down’, in what’s similar to a valsalva manoeuvre (which is sort of like a reverse kegel/pelvic floor exercise) or ‘baby-pushing-motion’.
Let’s Get Juicy
Lots of different sexual activities elicit the response, such as penetrative vaginal/anal intercourse, oral sex, masturbation and the use of sexual aids or toys – even intimate touching, kissing and a luscious bit of neck nibbling or biting has evoked a gush in some women. Being sexually charged, juicy and a little bit wet can help. And an emotional engagement with yourself or your partner(s) can also go a long way for the majority of women – but be aware even that random from the pub can make you soak if you and they tune in and make you and your pleasure the centre of this sexy world.
Go With The Flow
Be comfortable in your own skin, relax and let those inhibitions just slide away. There is no pressure to perform – just experiment and go with what feels right. For some it ‘just happens’, exploding within 30 seconds of stimulation, for others there needs to be a particular rhythm to penetration and then a quick withdrawal to elicit the response. Be prepared to try out a few different things. And of course, for some there will never be a gush, but go with the flow hey, this isn’t a competition – just enjoy the ride!
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Image credit:© Patrizia Tilly – Fotolia.com